For The Love Of My Obsession
by rmcrms5
Summary: How far would you go for your obsession? *Beyond the Pale 3rd Place Voters Choice Winner* Story contd-Bella lost Edward in a tragic accident & found a new love in the arms of a friend. Will she be able to escape his obsession and who can she trust? OOC/AH
1. Chapter 1

**Beyond the Pale Contest**

**Title: ****For the Love of My Obsession**

**Pen Name: rmcrms5**

**Characters: Edward/Bella/Emmett (AH/AU/OOC)**

**Disclaimer: ****Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters.**

**I just like to do evil things with them.**

**Image that Inspired You: Four**

I placed my single red rose on the polished wood of the coffin in front of me. I could barely see it for my tears. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were supposed to grow old together surrounded by grandchildren. Now that dream would never be. My knees trembled and began to buckle beneath me.

I felt a strong pair of arms gather me into their embrace keeping me from falling. The same arms that held me as he broke the news to me and held me all through that long night while I screamed and sobbed until there was nothing left, through the flight we boarded to bring his body home to his family. I knew Emmett was hurting also; Edward was his best friend, but he was _my_ life. I had nothing in me to spare, to offer comfort in return, so I was just grateful that he let me take from him.

"Bella, lean on me. I've got you baby; you're going to be alright," he whispered gently against my ear.

My head rocked side to side in anguish as I leaned back into his chest. "It'll never be alright, Emmett. Edward was everything. I don't know who I am without him."

"Bella," the tiny voice of my best friend spoke up. "I loved my brother with all my heart and he wouldn't want you to give up. We'll get through this together."

"Alice," my voice broke. "How could this happen? He was an expert skier. He would never be that careless."

"I don't know. I wish I did. I told Mom I had a bad feeling that morning, but I thought I was just being silly. Maybe if I'd called, he wouldn't have gone on that mountain. He would have stayed at the lodge with you." She started sobbing and hugged me close. "I'm so sorry Bella. If I'd only called, my brother would still be alive."

###

I heard the door open and turned to see my best friend.

"Bella, you look beautiful!" Alice squealed.

I smiled and turned back to stare at my reflection in the mirror again. I barely recognized myself. I wasn't the same girl I was two short years ago. I'd changed, but I guess that was to be expected. I was a college graduate living in a new city. I had a new life now.

"I'm afraid to move, Alice," I laughed. "What if I mess it up? This dress costs more than I made all last year."

She stood in front of me and straightened my skirts. "Well that's what happens when you marry into money, Bella. God, who knew Emmett's family was so loaded? I mean, we went to France for our fittings!"

"Yeah, makes you wonder why on Earth he wants me," I said softly.

Alice stilled her movements and straightened to look at me in the mirror. "Bella, Emmett loves you. He's been your rock since-" She stopped and took a deep breath. She turned and hugged me careful of my dress. "It's okay to love him, Bella. Edward would want you to be happy."

I sniffed and blinked back the sudden tears. I nodded my head. "I do love him. He's been great to me. It's just-"

"I know, he's not Edward," she finished gently. "You should be standing here getting ready to marry my brother, becoming my sister for real. But that's not what fate decreed. Fate decreed that Edward's time on this Earth was over. Fate decreed that you would find a new love. You can still have your dreams; just now you'll have those dreams with Emmett." She placed her hand over mine where it rested on my slightly protruding stomach.

"Let's get this on you and then you'll be perfect for _Emmett_," Rose said briskly, reminding us we weren't alone.

I felt Alice stiffen beside me as Rose came up to us with my veil in her hand. Alice had never warmed up to her. She didn't understand how I could be friends with Emmett's ex-girlfriend, much less ask her to be my bridesmaid, but she was the only person besides Emmett I knew when I moved to Chicago after college. Besides, their breakup had been mutual and they stayed friends, so it was easy for me.

She was there for me when Alice transferred to finish school in Seattle to be closer to her parents after Edward's death. She encouraged me to get up each morning and put one foot in front of the other until I could do it on my own. She even held me when I became a sobbing, blubbering mess after the first time I let Emmett make love to me. Without her friendship I probably would have moved back home right after Alice from loneliness and homesickness.

I tilted my head slightly while she placed the tiara carefully over my hair, securing it in place with pins. She squeezed my shoulders affectionately before turning to Alice.

"Do you really think it's right to bring up your brother to Bella today of all days? I know you miss him, but he's Bella's past. Emmett is her future," she said heatedly.

I grabbed both their hands in mine and squeezed. "Rose, it's okay. Alice was helping me. I was feeling a little melancholy is all." I turned to Alice and smiled at the fierce expression on her face. "Alice, please, you know I love you. You're always going to be my sister even if we can't make it legal. Rose is just being protective of Emmett's feelings."

I sighed as they continued to face off and decided to change the subject. "Did I tell you he's taking me to Italy for our honeymoon? We're staying at a villa that belongs to a friend of his family."

"Italy?" Alice gasped. "As in ocean, beach and hot Italian men as far as the eye can see?"

"Yep, except for the hot Italians. It'll just be the two of us for a whole month. Then his family is going to be flying over to join us for some big family gathering they're having."

"Hey girls, there's a man at the front of the church who asked me to tell the most beautiful woman in the world that he's waiting for you."

I turned to see my mother standing in the doorway. She dabbed her tissue to the corner of her eye and smiled at us. She would be walking me down the aisle since my father died a year ago.

I took an extra minute after Alice and Rose left the room and took one last look in the mirror as I picked up my bouquet from the table. "I love you Edward. I promise to be happy."

###

I shrugged on my tuxedo jacket and straightened my tie. It stretched across my broad shoulders. I looked damn good, if I do say so myself. A knock sounded on the door and I turned to see my right hand man and best friend, Royce, and James, my bodyguard, come in.

"Her friend is fucking hot today. I think I'm in love," James exclaimed, clasping his hands over his heart dramatically. "What did you say her name is again?"

"Alice and forget it. You want a quick fuck, fine, but I want her on a plane back to the west coast within the week. I've put up with her meddling for too fucking long," I ordered.

"Hey, you ready to do this?" Royce asked.

"Royce, I've been ready for two fucking years," I smirked. I stood still while he pinned the white rose on my lapel.

###

The congregation was a Who's Who of Chicago's elite. White roses and greenery adorned nearly every surface. I loved white roses; they were very Marlon Brando'ish. A six piece orchestra was set up in the corner playing some kind of classical music that grated on my nerves, but my girl loves it.

I stood at the front of the church and smiled to my parents as a cousin ushered them to their seat in the front row. My gaze shifted to the back of the church as I watched Rosalie walking up the aisle. Damn, she looked good in her tight black and white strapless bridesmaid dress. I may have to rethink that vow of monogamy. Her long blonde hair was piled high on her head with just a couple of locks dangling, itching for my large fingers to wrap around. Royce was fucking her now, with my blessing, but they both knew if I decide I want back in her bed later then she'll happily comply and he'll step off. I winked at her as she made it to the front of the church and turned to face me and raised my eyebrow at her in warning as she licked her lips in response.

I turned back to see the annoying little pixie James was panting over. Alice Cullen has been a thorn in my side from the very beginning. She's the reason it took my girl so damn long to give me a chance. I knew without her constant crying on her shoulder she would have gotten over everything sooner. I saw her smile and bat her eyes coyly at James and heard his answering growl. I rolled my eyes in disgust at the two of them and turned back to James.

"Knock it the fuck off already," I mumbled.

"Yeah, like you weren't eye fucking Rose just now?" he smirked.

I shrugged my shoulders in response. I was guilty as charged.

I heard the orchestra pause and held my breath, waiting. The double doors were closed causing my anticipation to build as everyone rose and turned to await her entrance. The wedding march began and the doors opened to reveal the girl of my dreams. Bella stood holding her mother's arm to begin her slow walk towards me. Her father was killed in the line of duty shortly after we began dating. What can I say? It's a dangerous line of work and things happen. They never caught his killer.

Bella was so beautiful; she literally took my breath away. Her long rich mahogany hair was curled and pinned into an intricate design on her head with a wispy white veil tucked into the crown held in place by the diamond tiara. The designer dress she wore was from France and was strapless and covered in lace and crystals making it sparkle as she walked.

I smiled as my gaze dropped briefly to the large bouquet of white roses she carried that hid her tiny waist and felt my chest swell with male pride and satisfaction. My girl was hiding a baby bump. It was what finally convinced her to take that final step and accept my proposal otherwise I'd still be chasing her. Condoms just aren't as reliable as they used to be.

I moved to stand in the center of the aisle as she and her mother approached me. I leaned down so her mother could kiss my cheek.

"Take care of my baby," she cried softly as she hugged me.

"I swear I'll never let anything happen to her," I promised.

I couldn't stand her flighty mother, but she didn't have a lot of contact with Bella so we probably wouldn't be seeing her much after today. However, I was sincere in my promise. I worked too hard to get the girl to ever let anything go wrong. I turned to face my Bella and raked my eyes over the beauty that was now mine. I saw the hint of sadness she tried to hide as she smiled at me. I fought the instinct to glare at the one standing nearby that I knew would be responsible for that sadness. Damn pixie. Well, there was nothing she could do now.

"I love you, Isabella and I would do anything for you." I swore.

Truer words were never spoken. I placed Bella's hand in the crook of my arm and led her to the altar. As I listened to the priest drone on about the sanctity of marriage and the vows we would be speaking, I let my mind wander back to the beginning.

###

I met Edward Cullen move-in day in college. We were both freshmen and had been partnered as roommates in the football player's dorms. He was quarterback and I was center. It was my job to keep his ass from getting creamed each week. You couldn't have put two more different people together if you tried. I was from Chicago and only doing my time in college at my father and godfather's insistence. I knew where my future lay and it wasn't in some white collar job pushing papers. No, I would be taking over as head of the family just as soon as my father chose to step down. Our family controlled the drugs, guns and prostitution in our windy city, as well as the majority of the politicians and law enforcement. I earned my stripes working as a runner during my early years until I hit puberty and was blessed with a growth spurt that quickly earned me the feared title of an enforcer.

Edward on the other hand, was as straight and narrow as they came. He was from a small town in Washington named after an eating utensil. He was pre-med and planned to go back to that same piss ant town to work in the clinic his father ran after medical school. He was there on an academic and football scholarship. He had a killer throwing arm which was the only redeeming quality I could find in him.

He was still dating his high school sweetheart who he left behind in Spoons or Forks, whatever the hell his town was, since she was only a junior in high school. She would be joining him in two years along with his younger sister, Alice, who was her best friend. I smiled and nodded politely when he showed me her picture. It was evidently taken after a football game. She was wearing a baggy jersey with his high school number on the front, over what appeared to be a cheerleading uniform. Her face was painted with his number on one cheek and their mascot on the other. I honestly didn't see the attraction. I saw a small town girl with brown hair, brown eyes and braces, but hey, to each their own.

I listened to him go on and on about the love of his life and his big dreams to marry her and make beautiful babies together. Bella wanted a large family since she was an only child from a broken home. She lived with her dad, who was the chief of police in their small town. Edward was a good looking guy and had the college sluts panting after him. He took my ribbing in stride when I'd point out all the hot college pussy coming in and out of our room, telling him what Bella didn't know wouldn't hurt her. I even tried to hook him up at an after-game party with one of my girls, Rosalie, who was a real knockout. If anybody could get into his pants, it would be her. I nearly choked on my beer when he politely turned her down. I had to give the guy respect for sticking to his guns even if I didn't understand it and we became friends.

For two years we hung out, played pool and had a good time until the day Isabella Swan walked onto campus and into my heart. I was sitting in the coffee shop waiting for Edward to show up. Our junior year had just started and he was excited that Bella would finally be joining him. I sat in the booth staring at my watch impatiently. I was not looking forward to making nice with my buddy's girlfriend and hoped we could ditch her to meet the rest of the guys at Shooters to play pool.

I glanced up at the sound of the door opening and saw Edward come in with an arm slung over the shoulder of one girl and the other around the waist of another. The girl with his arm on her shoulder I surmised was his sister. She was shorter than him by at least a foot and had short black hair that stuck up everywhere. She seemed to be having trouble with gravity as she bounced when she walked and I could hear her chattering a mile a minute to Edward and the other girl with them, her hands flying through the air as fast as her mouth.

Bella was walking on his other side so I couldn't make her out at all. When they turned to the counter to order I was able to check her out from behind. I had to admit, from behind, she looked pretty damn good. She was taller than his sister, but still only came up to Edward's shoulder. Her hair hung in waves to her small waist. I smiled in appreciation as I stared at her firm round ass and her long creamy legs in her tight denim shorts and wedge heeled shoes.

When they turned and walked toward me I finally understood. Bella was a goddess sent here from the heavens to torture mortal men. Her figure from the front was enough to make a certain part of my anatomy stand up and pay attention with her perfect, full breasts peaking out of the top of her tank top. Her hips swayed like a cobra's dance to a snake charmer's flute and what I had thought of as plain brown eyes were actually the color of rich dark chocolate. Her pink, pouty lips just ached to be bruised in passionate kisses. I was mesmerized and knew in that moment, nothing could stop me from making her mine.

"Hi, I'm Bella. You must be Emmett. Edward has told me so much about you."

It took me a moment to realize the angel's voice I was hearing was being directed at me. I blinked to clear my head and quickly stood, taking the hand she offered me. I felt the softness of her skin and knew a handshake would never do. I picked her up and swung her around in a bear hug, savoring the feel of her breasts pressed against my chest and the feel of my arms wrapped around her narrow waist as she squealed.

"And you must be the Itty Bitty Bella Edward compares all the girls to," I chuckled.

I was starting my campaign to win the girl immediately. She had to be feeling some insecurity about their relationship since they'd only seen each other at holidays and summer breaks for two years. I would just feed that insecurity. I was rewarded with the tinkling sound of her laughter at my words as I reluctantly set her back down.

"Oh really?" she laughed.

She stepped away from me and leaned her back into his chest, seeming to know where he was standing without turning her head. His hands slipped around her waist and he kissed her cheek. Her eyes sparkled mischievously at me as she turned her head to face him.

"And how well did I stand up against the competition?"

"Bella, you know you're the only girl I see. No one could ever compare to you. You're my heart and my soul," he assured her, brushing her lips in sweet kiss.

"Ah, isn't it sweet? I hope one day I find someone who loves me half as much," his sister sighed as she dropped into a chair.

I had forgotten she was even here. I only had eyes for Bella. She stared at her friend and brother with stars in her eyes. I knew there would be no help from her corner. She was onboard the Edward/Bella train. I slid back into my seat and raised my cup to my mouth to hide my sneer of disgust.

###

Bella was everything Edward had ever said she was. She was elegance and grace. She was pure and kind and never had a bad thing to say about anyone. She made friends wherever she went. I tried unsuccessfully to break them up for almost two years, but Edward wouldn't stray and Bella wouldn't believe innuendos or rumors that Edward fucked around on her. She never doubted, never got angry, and was never jealous. She knew she owned Edward's heart and soul, just like he owned hers. Of course, his meddling sister was always around snarling and snapping like an annoying poodle at any girl who came within five feet of her brother, preventing any girl from actually getting their claws into him.

I constantly dreamed of having Bella by my side. I would pamper her with riches Edward would never be able to give her as a small town doctor. I dreamed of giving Bella all the babies she wanted; little girls with her deep brown eyes and sons with my strength. I spent more nights jacking off in the shower or in my bed to visions of Bella, clothed or unclothed, it didn't matter. You could put the girl in a sack and she'd still make me cum.

I was at my wits end and had just decided to drug the son of a bitch to get him in bed with anyone, girl or guy, I didn't care which at this point. My plans changed when he invited me and Rose to go skiing with them over spring break. He was going to be leaving soon to start medical school and wanted to do something special for Bella before they were parted again and his schedule became more hectic.

I was pretending to date Rose so that Bella could see my sensitive, caring side while also working Rose into Bella's close circle of friends. I needed her to sing my praises to help gain Bella's notice and to feed me information I could use. Rose was from my world and understood her place. She would never be more than arm candy. I got her off the streets in high school and she became my property. I paid for her condo and the sporty BMW she drove. I owned the bitch.

The first day we were at the lodge Bella slipped on a patch of ice coming in from skiing and sprained her ankle. It was a minor sprain, but Edward didn't want her skiing the next day so that it could heal. They had plans to go to dinner and dancing the next night. I didn't like the feeling of excitement I sensed coming from him all day. I knew something was up.

We left Bella and Rose watching a chick flick in our cabin while Edward and I went to the main lodge to pick up dinner for everyone. While we were there Edward went to the front desk and asked the manager to get an item he had stored in the hotel safe. I looked at him curiously.

"They let you put something in their safe? Isn't that against hotel policy or something? You do know there's a safe in your bedroom closet, don't you?" I asked.

He turned to me and grinned, leaning against the counter while we waited.

"Yeah, but Bella shares that safe and this is a secret. Besides, the manager is a friend of my father's so it's okay. Hey, you don't mind if tomorrow night it's just Bella and I, do you? You and Rose will be okay on your own?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Don't worry about me and Rose. We'll be just fine."

I stared at him a moment taking in the building excitement emanating from him as the manager came back with a small but bulky manila envelope. My suspicions were aroused as he took it from him.

"Here you go Edward. Don't worry, everything is arranged like you asked. I'm sure Bella will love it," the manager told him.

"Thanks, Mr. Stanley. I owe you one."

"So what's the big secret?" I asked.

He looked around the lobby like he was expecting Bella sneak up on him even though we both knew she was on the sofa where he left her with ice on her ankle. He pulled a small black velvet box from the envelope and opened it, showing me the decent sized diamond ring nestled within. I felt my fists clench in my coat pockets and my jaw tighten in anger. No fucking way in hell! I heard his words through the pulsing sounds of blood rushing in my ears.

"I'm proposing to Bella tomorrow night. I don't want to leave her behind again when I go to medical school. I already checked into it and we can get a small apartment on campus for married couples. Bella can transfer there to finish her studies without losing any credits she's earned so far. I figured we can have a small wedding back home this summer before we start in the fall. Bella always wanted a small garden wedding anyway and my mom's roses should be in full bloom by then."

I vaguely felt his hand grasp my shoulder as I tore my eyes from the ring in his hand to stare at him. I knew he would take my silence as shock and not the rage I was fighting.

"You're my best friend, Emmett. What do you say? Will you be my best man and stand up with me?" he grinned.

I swallowed the bile in my throat and choked out the words that burned like acid in my mouth.

"I would be honored to stand up with you. I know you and Bella will be very happy."

That night after Edward carried Bella back to their room, I took Rose into our room. She stripped nervously, recognizing the signs of my anger in my jerky movements. She knew it would only take one wrong move on her part and she would feel my wrath. She had felt it enough times as every attempt to win Bella failed.

"Why don't you just kill him?" she suggested nervously.

I swung around to stare at her and watched her flinch in response. I grabbed her hair in my fist and yanked her head back to stare at her.

"What did you say?" I growled.

She swallowed and licked her lips nervously; her eyes darting back and forth searching my eyes to try and discern how to answer.

"If you can't break them up and you really want her, then why don't you eliminate the problem? It's what you would do if you were back home."

I stared at her a moment while her words sank in. She continued to stare at me fearfully, waiting to see how I would react to her words. I felt her shudder as the grin spread across my face. I chuckled darkly as I released the grip on her hair and stroked it, soothing the pain I knew she felt in her scalp. I kissed her forehead and pulled my shirt and coat back on.

"Get in bed. I'll be back later," I told her as I grabbed my phone and opened the door. "Oh and Rose, when we get home feel free to make a trip to the dealership for a new car. You earned it."

The next morning Edward and I left to hit the slopes while Rose stayed behind to keep Bella company. They were going to spend the day being pampered at the spa. I convinced Edward we should take the more difficult slopes since the girls weren't with us and he agreed.

"Hey Emmett, last one down buys the beer," he yelled as he dug his poles in the ground, taking off.

I smiled and calmly adjusted my goggles on my face before pushing off as well.

"Champagne is more like it and I'll be the one drinking," I mumbled.

I stayed behind Edward as we picked up speed the steeper the slope became. I knew there was a rise coming up ahead that should do the trick. I watched as he hit the rise and took off in the air, his body perfectly angled to land upright on impact. I watched with relish as his left ski tipped back. I knew Edward sensed he was in trouble and probably trying to work out a solution before he hit the ground. Unfortunately for him there was no solution as his ski dropped from his boot before his other ski came back in contact with the ground.

I watched him roll head over heel, twisting and turning as the other ski stayed attached jerking his body, for several yards before finally landing in a twisted heap on the ground. I took the incline and landed perfectly, slowing to come up beside him. I scanned the area around us, ensuring there weren't any witnesses. I nudged his still body with the tip of my pole.

"How you doing there, buddy?" I sneered. "Shaking hands with the devil?"

My mouth dropped as I heard him groan in pain. The fucker should have broken his damn neck in that fall. I dropped to the ground at his head to check him out. His left arm was obviously broken and his right leg looked like it was broken in a couple of places. I pushed on his shoulders and ribs and enjoyed his scream of pain. Add a collarbone and a few ribs to that checklist.

"Fuck, Emmett! That hurts!" he yelled. He reached with his good arm to pull his goggles off his face.

"No, no. None of that. You need to leave them in place," I said pulling his arm back down.

"Emmett, I may be fucked up, but my neck's not broken. I can take off the goggles."

I knew he was trying to make light of his pain. He got hit enough on the field that he had a high pain tolerance.

"No Eddie-boy, you can't take them off. You see, you broke your neck in the fall. They'd still be twisted on your head."

"I told you, my neck is fine. It's my collarbone that's broken," he hissed through his teeth.

"No Edward. You died in the fall," I stated calmly. I knew I had his undivided attention as his body went still. I scanned the area again to be sure no one was around. I figured I had only a few minutes before the ski patrol came upon us.

"Emmett, what the hell are you talking about? You're my best friend. Anything you want, it's yours. I don't understand," his voice rose in panic.

He tried unsuccessfully to move, to get away. I laughed. Where did he think he would run on one good leg?

"All you had to do was leave Bella and you could have gone on to live a full life in your little hometown. You could have realized all your dreams. But no, you had to stay faithful. You had to bring a fucking ring on this trip. You thought you would marry _my girl!_" I leaned down next to his ear. "Bella. Is. Mine," I growled.

I grasped his head in my hands firmly as he screamed for help.

"See you in hell, motherfucker!"

I heard the snap as I wrenched his head around. I let it fall lifelessly back into the snow. I checked his position to be sure he hadn't moved too much. It had to look like he died in the fall. I looked up and saw the ski patrol coming down the mountain. I stood and waved frantically to them and yelled for help, humming a tune while I waited.

###

Alice's loud sniff brought me back to the present. Too bad I couldn't eliminate her as well, but two accidents in one family would be suspicious and it's not like she could cause any problems from two thousand miles away. After today she would have no further contact with Bella anyway, I'd make sure of it.

I held Bella's trembling hands in mine as I listened to the vows she was promising to me; sickness and health, richer or poorer. Yeah, yeah. Just get to the part I wanted to hear come from her lips.

"I promise to love, honor and obey you, my husband, until death parts us." Her voice was full of emotion at her words. Her eyes were streaming with tears. They better be fucking tears of joy and not for memories of that bastard.

I repeated the vows the priest recited to me as I stared intently into Bella's eyes letting her see just how fucking serious I was.

"I promise to love, honor and cherish you, _my wife_, until death parts us," I stated firmly.

I held her gaze as the priest finished his job and we exchanged rings. She squeezed my hands and smiled at me when the priest made the comment about family and I let my gaze drop to rest on her stomach momentarily before capturing her gaze again. She'd sworn before God and my family in church to honor and obey me for eternity and she carried my child.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

I pulled Bella into my arms and held her as I ravaged her mouth to the loud cheers and thunderous applaud of my family and friends. I grinned wickedly and winked at her flushed face when I pulled away. I knew she was embarrassed, expecting only a quick peck.

We turned to the congregation and I wrapped my arm firmly around her waist as we made our descent from the altar and down the aisle. I was fucking soaring. Bella was mine.

_**A/N: Thanks always to Lillie Cullen for her amazing beta skills. I plan to continue this story after the contest if it's well received.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Since this story continues to receive attention on this site, I've decided to bow to the masses and post LOMO here as well as The Writer's Coffee Shop. For those new to the story, Obsession was originally written for the Beyond the Pale contest a while back and won 3****rd**** place in the Voters Choice Awards. This is the continuation of that o/s. **

**Fair warning now – Emmett is the bad guy in this story. He committed murder to remove any obstacle in his obsession to win Bella for himself. He is NOT redeemable and I have no intentions of trying. Bella will have a happy ending … eventually. Those of you who are familiar with my writing and have read **_**The Perfect Wife**_** know I can redeem some characters, but not this time.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. We just enjoy playing with her characters.**

1 - "How Did I Get Here?"

My life changed quickly in a short period of time. So fast, I didn't grasp what was happening until it was too late to change anything. Alice didn't come back to school. She didn't want her parents to deal with their grief alone. She felt guilty for leaving me, but I understood. She needed to be with her parents and I knew they needed her too. Two weeks after we buried Edward, Rosalie moved into my dorm taking Alice's place. She and Emmett broke up right after we returned to school. Rose said they realized they weren't right for each other and were better as friends.

I began sinking into a deep depression, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I kept hoping one day I would open my eyes and find it was all a horrible nightmare or huge mix up. Maybe we buried the wrong person and Edward was really lying in hospital somewhere suffering from amnesia which is why he hadn't come home yet. Maybe he was really working undercover for the CIA and had to go into hiding. Maybe he was bitten by a vampire and would come back for me when he learned to control his bloodlust. My mind came up with anything to keep from dealing with the fact that Edward was never coming home to me. Or maybe one day I would just not wake up and I could join him. I didn't want to live in a world where he didn't exist.

Rose dragged me out of bed each morning and forced me to go to class. Emmett was there each afternoon and making sure I ate and did my homework. I would have flunked out that semester if not for their help. I _wanted_ to flunk out so I would have that excuse to go home. There was nothing here for me without Edward. I could take time off to grieve and finish my education in Seattle, but Emmett and Rose wouldn't allow me to fail. They pushed and prodded and wheedled and begged and I passed the semester by the skin of my teeth.

Emmett made it his mission in life to cheer me up. He would bring me flowers, takeout from my favorite restaurants and my favorite chocolates, which I ate only to get him off my back. He began sleeping on our tiny sofa, not wanting to face his own empty dorm room. I would wake up screaming from nightmares and he would be there to hold me until I cried myself back to sleep. I don't know how it happened that he began just sleeping in my bed with me.

Emmett moved into a large three bedroom apartment when the semester ended, dragging me along with him. He and Rose convinced me to stay and take classes over the summer instead of going home. It would have been too hard to face all my memories so soon. My father was surprised and a little disappointed when I called to tell him. I promised I would come home to visit before the fall semester started.

Rose also moved in and took the third room. I forced myself stop depending on Emmett at night and began sleeping alone again. Emmett kept assuring me that his bed was plenty big enough for both of us. His pouting was kind of cute, but I stood my ground. I needed to learn to take care of myself again. It wasn't fair to Emmett for me to become so dependent on him.

####

Rose began dropping hints that Emmett had feelings for me shortly after we settled into the apartment. She started pushing me to take an interest in living again. She kept insisting it was time for me to move on and give love another chance. She took me to the spa for a new makeover. I had a sexy new haircut and was waxed where I had never been before. She went after my closet with a vengeance tossing almost everything I owned and took me shopping for a new wardrobe. I went along with everything because she reminded me so much of Alice and I really missed her. Alice and I talked on the phone or Skyped almost every day, but it wasn't the same. The only time I fought with Rose was when she tried to throw out Edward's old high school and college jerseys that I slept in. She could have anything but those. I couldn't get over how upset she became when I put them back in my dresser, you would think it was causing her personal harm or something.

"_What are you doing?" I shrieked. Rose was just pushing another armload of my shirts down into the black garbage bag on the floor. I just happened to see the Spartan mascot before it was covered. I snatched the two jerseys out of the bag. "I told you to take whatever you want except Edward's jerseys."_

"_Bella, please, just get rid of them. You need to let go of the past," she urged. _

_I ignored her as I held the faded and worn blue jersey. My fingers brushed across the "Cullen" stamped across the back above the school mascot. I held it to my face and fought back my tears. It no longer smelled of Edward. I had lost another piece of him. What would I lose next? How much more could I bare to lose? Would his face blur in my memories next? Would I forget the sound of his voice? No, I still had one of his messages saved on my cell phone. I wouldn't lose his loving voice telling me how much he loved me._

"_Edward is dead! Let go already! You're clinging to a dead man!"_

_I lowered the shirt in my hands and turned slowly to face her. My eyes narrowed in anger as I stared at her. "Rose, you need to stop now," I said quietly. "You're my friend and I love you, but you need to leave my room right now before I say something I can't take back."_

_I turned away from her again and pulled the jersey on over my head over my tank top. I crawled onto my bed and held the stuffed bear he gave me for Valentine's Day._

"_Bella, please don't be mad at me. Don't shut me out. I swear I'm only trying to help you," she pleaded. _

_I heard the sadness and urgency in her voice. I didn't respond to her. I finally allowed myself to fall apart after hearing the apartment door shut signally she'd left._

She came home later that night with a black eye and split lip. She said she was mugged on the way to her car. Emmett came in shortly after in a foul mood. He was stomping around in the kitchen and slamming cabinet doors. His attitude changed when he threw open Rose's bedroom door and saw us crying together on her bed. She rushed to tell him what happened before he could even ask. He took such good care of her. He drove her to the emergency room and stayed by her side while she gave her statement to the police. I was concerned for her safety when she told police it was too dark for her to see or describe her attacker. Emmett stayed with her that night so he could help her with anything she needed.

####

I finally gave in and accepted one of Emmett's many offers to dinner and we began dating. He took me to expensive restaurants, carriage rides in the park, dancing at clubs. He even took me to the theater to see Phantom of the Opera. I thought it was really sweet since he hated theater, especially musicals. He slept through most of it. Emmett would tell me stories about his large family and how very close they were to one another. He told me he couldn't wait to have a wife and kids. I could hear the pride in his voice when he spoke of Chicago. You would think his family owned the city the way he talked about _his Chicago_.

He began talking to me about moving to Chicago with him to finish school. He was graduating and his summer internship was almost over. His parents bought him a condo for graduation and he wanted me to move with him. He even went so far as to start the process for my transfer to finish school in Chicago. I don't know how he pulled that off, but I was livid and we had our first fight. I wouldn't speak to him for a week which was really hard since we lived in the same apartment and we had somehow managed to begin sleeping together in his room again after we started dating. He really didn't like being locked out of my room that night and after beating on my door every night would sleep in the hall propped against my door. It was impossible for me to slip out in the mornings without facing him each day.

Rose finally helped me see that Emmett was just being Emmett and was only trying to take care of me. Emmett was thrilled when I gave in. My dad? Not so much. I didn't have time to come home with moving before classes started. My dad put his foot down and demanded I come home for the holidays.

I settled into life in Chicago and was able to get a part time job at the campus daycare so it worked around my class schedule. The best part was that I wouldn't be working nights or weekends which made Emmett very happy. He liked knowing I was home when he came in at night from working at his father's company. Evenings and weekends were spent going to various functions, or out to dinner, clubbing and Sunday dinners with his family.

####

The first time we made love was on my birthday, the result of alcohol going to my head. I didn't want to go out, but Emmett insisted. I had learned that Emmett could be relentless when he wanted something bad enough and sometimes it was just easier to give in than to argue. He took me to a five star Italian restaurant for dinner. After dinner he wanted to check out a new nightclub that just opened and was supposed to be all the rage. We stayed until closing in the early morning hours. Emmett had to help me to the car because I could barely walk. My head was fuzzy and I couldn't understand my own speech. I don't remember what happened after that.

_I woke to the feeling of lips suckling on my breast. Edward was a breast man and I was often awakened to the sensation of Edward's lips on me. I groaned and ran my fingers through his hair. Instead of soft strands, my fingers tangled in short curls. My eyes flew open just as I felt his length thrust into me. _

"_Emmett?" my voice quivered. "What are you doing?"_

_He rose over me as he continued his thrusts and grinned at me. "I'm just following orders. You told me to make love to you until neither of us could move. We're on our fourth round and I don't know about you, but I think I've still got a few left in me before I need a break."_

"_Emmett, please stop," I whispered. "I- I can't. I'm not on birth control." God, what happened last night that I would act like this? I stopped taking my birth control after Edward died. I didn't see a reason to continue, I had no plans to be with anyone. I hadn't even begun thinking of having sex with Emmett. It was too soon; we'd only been officially dating a little over two months. Edward and I didn't have sex until the summer after his freshman year in college._

"_Bella, please baby," he grunted and began thrusting harder and faster. "Please, baby, I love you. I can't stop now. I'll always wear condoms, I swear. Just please, I've waited so long for this." He grabbed my knee and pulled it up to his hip. "Just feel me, baby. Let yourself go."_

_I stared up at the ceiling and felt the tears slide down the sides of my face as he continued. _

He held me afterward and kissed away my tears. He was so sweet and so gentle with me. He kept telling me over and over how much he loved me and just wanted to be able to express that love for me physically. We stayed in bed the entire day as Emmett lavished me with attention helping me overcome my reluctance at how fast we were moving.

####

Emmett came home with me for Thanksgiving to meet my dad. I loved seeing my dad get all protective. He never got to play the overbearing father/police chief before. He always liked Edward and already considered him a son. He interrogated Emmett relentlessly all week about his family and their business. I knew he was just fearful of losing me if I stayed in Chicago after I finished school. I'd always talked of staying close to home to be near him. He wanted to know his intentions, to which Emmett assured him included a long happy life and lots of grandkids for my dad to spoil. I heard my dad mumble 'ass kisser' under his breath on more than one occasion that week.

A week later I got a call from Carlisle that my father had been shot and killed when he investigated a break in at Newton's Outfitters in the middle of the night. They had no suspects or witnesses. Again, Emmett was there for me. He flew home with me and helped me talk to the detectives investigating my father's murder. They didn't hold out much hope for finding his killer. He helped me make the final arrangements and close up the house. I didn't know what I was going to do with it. It was too soon to make decisions.

####

I was beginning to feel the stress of too many late nights and not enough time to do my school work. Emmett's solution was for me to quit my job so I would have those hours to study without cutting into 'our' time. I liked making my own money even if it wasn't a lot. I didn't want to be completely dependent on Emmett even if he did love me. Emmett just brushed off my concerns stating he had more than enough money to take care of us and then some. Emmett came home the next day and dropped a deposit receipt on the table in front of me. My jaw dropped at seeing the amount; there were five zeros behind the first number. He informed me it was my money to use or give away how I saw fit, but he couldn't take it back because it was in my account. I gave in and quit my job.

I felt like I was losing more of myself each day. Alice and I talked about it one evening when Emmett was out at a business dinner. I never wanted to live in a condo much less a big city like Chicago. I loved Forks. Edward and I always dreamed of building a home in Forks on a piece of property willed to him by his grandfather. We wanted room for children to be able to play and I wanted a garden like his mother's. Esme already had cuttings started for me of my favorite roses before Edward died. None of this life was my dream.

Emmett came in from his dinner meeting while I was still on the phone. Needless to say he wasn't very happy when he overheard my conversation. Well most eavesdroppers _weren't_ happy with what they heard. I informed him I was taking advantage of spring break coming up and going home to Forks. Alone. It was harder than I thought it would be; everywhere I went was a memory of Edward or my dad. I went to the cemetery and talked to my dad. I put fresh flowers on his grave before walking over to do the same for Edward. I told him how much I missed him and still loved him. I spent time with his parents and Alice. It felt wonderful to talk to Esme about my relationship with Emmett.

She helped me gain some perspective and remember who I was. Things were going to change when I got back to Chicago. I was going to slow things down in our relationship and maybe even move back home after graduation for a while. Fortunately I had enough credits between those I'd taken during high school and summer classes to be able to finish in three years. Alice's apartment lease in Seattle would be coming up by then and she suggested we get a two-bedroom apartment to share. I had some money from my dad's life insurance policy set aside I could live on until I found a teaching job.

I flew back to Chicago with renewed purpose. I felt like I was finally coming out of my fog and ready to _really_ start living again. I realized I had only been going through the motions since Edward's death. I had taken the easy way out to avoid dealing with losing Edward. I know it wasn't fair to blame everything on Emmett; I let him take over, so why would he behave any differently? I hadn't cared enough to fight for what I wanted. Well, I was ready now.

Emmett met me at the airport when I arrived with a huge bouquet of red roses. He told me how much he loved and missed me and promised things were going to change. He only wanted to make me happy. I didn't have the heart to drop my bombshell on him right away. We began staying home in the evenings. We cooked dinner together and went for long walks. If someone came over, Emmett would tell them to call him at the office the next day and shut the door on them. He even kept his cell phone on silent. We snuggled on the sofa watching old movies. He made sure I was thoroughly loved in bed also; he was insatiable.

I decided to wait to tell him I was moving back home. School would be out soon and it would be easier to just make a clean break then and leave. I know it was a chicken shit way to handle things, but I didn't want to spend weeks fighting with Emmett over my decision. I knew he'd try to wear me down. The weekend before finals instead of having Sunday dinner with his family he took me for a drive. We had brunch at a café in Gold Coast and walked down the street to the park watching families having picnics and children playing on the playground. We strolled onto a quiet street lined with beautiful historic homes and old trees. I was surprised when he led me up the sidewalk to a beautiful Victorian style home and unlocked the front door with a key from his pocket. He purchased the home for us; for the future he wanted us to share. It was almost everything I dreamed and even had a large yard and flowerbeds lined the fence.

I couldn't avoid telling him my plans any longer. It was going to be so much harder to make him understand especially with the effort he was making to change. I never did get the chance. I failed one test during finals. A home pregnancy test. I was five weeks pregnant.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. We just enjoy playing with her characters.**

Ch 2

I sat on the bathroom floor, holding my breath, while I watched the second hand move on my watch. Fifteen seconds to go. I refused to look at the little white plastic stick perched atop the crumpled paper bag on the floor in front of me. I also ignored the impatient foot tapping on the floor nearby.

"You've already taken twelve," Rose sighed. "Bella, they all say the same thing."

"I just don't understand how it happened. He always wears a condom. We've never gone without. Not even once." I leaned my head back against the cabinet and felt the tears track down my face. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and picked up the plastic stick. I glanced at the little window to see the answer clearly displayed. I let my chin drop to my chest and began crying in earnest. "I can't be pregnant Rose."

"Well, obviously you are." I heard the sarcasm in her tone.

I stood and picked up the bag containing the other discarded tests. I put the latest test in the bag and threw the lot in the trash can beside me. I saw my red splotchy face in the mirror above the sink as I washed my hands. Rose stood watching me cautiously; I'm sure ready for another meltdown. I already had two meltdowns since showing up at her apartment this morning. Royce had only been too happy to leave as soon as he saw me curled up on Rose's sofa, crying while trying to inhale a liter bottle of water. I poured out the glass of water sitting on the counter and walked back to her kitchen. I slumped into a chair in defeat. Rose took the chair beside me and squeezed my hand.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm being a bitch. This is about you, not me. Forgive me?" She gave me a tight sad smile.

"I'm sorry too, Rose. I'm the one who's insensitive. I shouldn't have bothered you with this."

Children were the one thing Rose wanted most in life but could never have. I should have realized when I barged into her home earlier, begging her to help me, that this might be difficult on her.

"Bella, it's okay. Don't worry about me. I've learned to accept the way my life turned out. It could be a lot worse." She squeezed my hand again and gave me a too bright smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Just promise you'll let me babysit anytime Emmett wants to take you out."

"How do I tell him that I'm pregnant? He's going to be furious. Neither of us planned for this to happen."

"Are you kidding? How many times has Emmett talked about having kids? He wants a big family. I promise you he'll be ecstatic when you tell him. Emmett loves you so much. He's done everything in his power to show you just how much he loves you. He treats you like a queen. You need to stop and realize just how good you have it with Emmett. No one could ever love you as much as he does," she stated firmly.

"You don't understand," I sighed, remembering my plans. "I was actually planning to take a break from Emmett for a while. I already purchased my plane ticket home. I was going to tell him tonight when he got home."

"You what?" she said loudly. She narrowed her eyes and pointed an accusing finger at me. "Emmett has worked his ass off, bending over backwards to earn your love. Do you honestly think he enjoys sitting at home night after night when everyone he knows is out having a good time? Do you know how much ribbing he's taken from his family and friends for taking cooking lessons with you? McCarty men do not cook. You're supposed to be moving in a few days. He bought you a freaking house in the suburbs when he loves the city. He did all of that for one reason only. He wants your love. You've made him feel like he has to fight the memory of a ghost to gain whatever scrap of affection you give him. Now you tell me you're just going to walk out on him after everything he's done to prove himself worthy in your eyes?" She leaned back in her chair and waited for me to think about what she was saying. She gave me a look of disgust. "I never would have thought you could be that cold and selfish Bella. Does it make you feel superior knowing you're trampling his heart and are going to make him feel like yesterday's garbage?"

"Rose, stop please," I cried. I felt like I was being bombarded by the onslaught of her accusations.

"Why should I? You don't care about Emmett at all. Are you going to take his baby away from him or just throw it away the same way you're throwing away Emmett's heart?" she demanded.

"Of course not! How can you even think something like that?" I shouted. I stood and backed away from her, wrapping my arms around my stomach protectively. "I would never do anything to hurt my baby."

"Don't you think taking a baby away from its father is hurtful? Remember, I know what it's like to grow up without a father. I often wonder if my father hadn't died, maybe my life would have been different. My mother wouldn't have become an addict. My brother wouldn't be in prison for murder. I might have found someone to love me and have a family of my own. But I'll never know will I? Is that the life you want for Emmett's baby?"

Tears streamed down my face as she buried me under the weight of her accusations. Emmett has done everything Rose said and more. The only thing he's ever wanted in return was my love. He was selfless and caring where I was nothing but a cold, selfish bitch. When did I become so heartless? Rose got up from the table and grabbed a tissue. She helped me to clean up the mess of mascara streaks on my face before wrapping her arms around me.

"Bella, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just think you need to see how your actions hurt others," she said gently. "Sometimes you have a tendency to be a little selfish and think only of yourself."

I nodded and took a deep breath. I blew my nose on a tissue she handed me. I gave her a watery smile and nodded. "You're right Rose. I've been selfish and unfeeling. Emmett is such a wonderful man and I'm very fortunate that he loves me so much. I do love him." I don't know who I was trying to convince more with that last statement. I took another shuddering breath and smiled again. This time it was more convincing. "So, any ideas how I tell Emmett he's going to be a daddy?"

Rose laughed and hugged me tight. "Oh Bella, I'm so happy for you."

####

I waited for the elevator doors to open on our floor. I clasped the gift bag in my shaky fingers while I fidgeted nervously. Rose and I spent the rest of the day together. She went with me to my doctor where they confirmed what thirteen pregnancy tests had already told me. After my visit, we went shopping for the perfect gift to tell Emmett we were having a baby. I was still nervous how he would react to the news. What if Rose was wrong and he really didn't want it? If he didn't, this was going to be extremely embarrassing and painful. I'd had a few hours to come to terms with the fact that I was having a baby. Depending on how my news was received, I would need to call Alice and explain my change in plans.

I stepped out of the elevator and crossed the hall to our door, taking a deep breath. Emmett's black Escalade was in the parking garage when I pulled in, so I knew he was home. It was early but I was actually glad for that fact, so I wouldn't sit around making myself sick with worry. I closed the door quietly behind me and dropped my keys and purse on the bench by the door. I stepped around the boxes stacked on the floor next to the bench. The moving company was coming in two days to move everything to the new house. My things were marked and discretely separated from Emmett's, since I'd quietly set up for my things to be shipped home. This was another call I would need to make depending on tonight's talk.

I checked my appearance in the mirror and was glad I'd taken Rose's suggestion to have a facial before coming home. The puffy redness was completely gone from my eyes. I didn't want Emmett to think for one second I wasn't happy about our baby. I looked down as my hand gently stroked my stomach.

"I love you and I promise to be a good mother. Everything is about what's best for you from now on," I said quietly.

I heard Emmett's voice laced with frustration coming from the living room. He was grumbling and swearing about something, but I couldn't make out his words. I was startled by the sound of a box of glass crashing to the floor and then the sound of him kicking the box.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Emmett?" I called out nervously. "Are you okay?"

Emmett came striding from the living room. He looked good in his black dress pants and red button down shirt. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He was so handsome with his blue eyes, sandy brown hair and massive build. It made me wonder again why I couldn't love him the way I had loved Edward. I cared for Emmett very much. He loved me and saw me through my darkest times of Edward's death and my father's murder. Why couldn't I get my heart to agree with my head and give him the kind of love I knew I was capable of?

"There you are. I've been worried sick about you," he snapped. He waved his hand dismissively behind him. "I was looking for something and knocked over a box."

He cupped the back of my head firmly and pulled me in for one of his 'Emmett style kisses'. That's what I call them because sometimes he gets a little exuberant and his kisses can become little painful. Emmett is a large man and tends to forget his strength. Sometimes I have to remind him that I'm much smaller than him and can't take some of the intensity in which he likes to make love. He finally released me, so I could pull back and catch my breath. He swept me up in his arms and carried me to the living room. He sat on the sofa and held me on his lap.

"What, I can't be happy to see my girl? You are my girl, aren't you?" He asked slowly.

He pulled me in again and this time gave me a tender, _gentle_ kiss. I wish he would understand that these were the kisses I enjoyed. I held his face in my hands and returned his kiss with equal tenderness. I let my fingers slip behind his head to rake the hair at the nape of his neck between my fingers. I smiled at him, gazing into his eyes when we separated.

"Of course. I love you," I said softly.

I was surprised to see a flash of anger in his eyes. He reached for the drink sitting on the end table and took a long drink. The glass made a loud '_thunk_' as he set it back on the table. I realized he seemed tense, like he was angry about something.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, concerned.

"Everything is perfect now that you're here with me." His smile seemed forced as he brushed my hair back from my face. "So what did you do today? Wasn't your last test over at nine this morning? I came home to take you out to celebrate, and you weren't here and there wasn't a note. Your cell was turned off all day as well."

"I'm sorry. I forgot to turn it back on after my test. I spent the day with Rose. You know, shopping, lunch, just girl stuff." I shrugged nervously.

I shifted uneasily as his eyes narrowed slightly at me. I wondered if he could sense my rising anxiety. I began to squirm under his fixed gaze.

"I bought something for you today," I said cheerfully, giving him my brightest smile.

I stood quickly and hurried back to the entry to get the gift bag I'd left sitting by my purse. I walked slowly back into the living room, all of my fear returned to me tenfold. Emmett was standing with his back to me at the bar pouring another drink. He drained his glass again before slamming it down on the counter causing me to jump.

"Emmett?" I approached him cautiously, more than a little nervous. I felt guilty for wanting to leave him. I was terrified how he would take the news of our baby. And I had no idea why he seemed so angry or why I felt it had something to do with me.

He turned to me and leaned against the bar, crossing his arms over his massive chest. I didn't know why he was upset, but figured in the next five minutes he'd either be even angrier or very happy. I handed him the bag and chewed on my thumbnail nervously as he pulled out the tissue paper and reached inside for the gift. He threw the bag on the floor and held out the gift in front of him. His eyebrows rose and his lips twitched before becoming a full-fledged grin that spread from ear to ear. It was a soft blue t-shirt for a baby that said "If you think I'm cute, you should see my Daddy".

"Hot fucking damn! My girl's gonna have my baby!" he shouted.

He picked me up and spun me around the room, whooping and hollering. He finally put me back on my unsteady feet as he knelt down in front of me and began kissing and talking to my stomach. My anxiety eased seeing his excitement, and I resolved to try harder to make Emmett happy.

"Are you okay with this?" I asked nervously.

He placed both hands on my stomach, framing it in his hands and placed another kiss on my stomach before looking up at me. He stood and drew me into his arms. He held my chin in his hand, his thumb gently grazing my throat as he smiled.

"_My_ baby is growing inside of you. _Mine_. I'm going to be a daddy. Are you fucking kidding me? How could I not be okay with it?" I detected a hint of smugness in his tone, but figured it was a testosterone thing. "There's only one thing that would make me even happier than I am right at this moment, if that's even possible."

"Really? And what would that be?" I laughed. I was so relieved he wasn't angry about the baby. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest.

He held a finger up to me. "Wait right here. Don't move from this spot."

I received another of Emmett's kisses before he ran out of the room, leaving me standing in the middle of the floor. I tried not to get upset as my gaze fell on the box of broken glass Emmett had knocked over. Before it fell it had been filled with a set of dishes I bought. Well, they were trash now. I swallowed nervously as I noticed most of the boxes with that one had been opened. They were all mine.

Emmett came back into the room, still grinning. It faltered when he noticed what I was staring at before his lips set in a firm line. He waved a hand at the broken dishes and shrugged. "Sorry about that. I don't know how that particular set of dishes ended up in here. The rest of the dishes are boxed up in the kitchen. None of the boxes in that stack are labeled for the movers. We wouldn't want anything to get lost and shipped to the wrong house, would we?"

I shook my head and quietly cleared my throat. "I'll go through them again tonight and make sure everything is labeled. Thank you for catching it."

He held my gaze as he walked to stand before me. The air sizzled with unnamed tension before his grin returned. "I'll even help you. After all, you need to start taking it easy." He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against my lips. He pulled away and lowered himself to one knee.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I have loved you since the first moment I saw you in that coffee shop. I never dreamed that one day I would be lucky enough to be able to call you my girl, or that you would be having my baby. I swear you'll always be my girl, and I'll never let you go if you'll just say yes and marry me."

My breath hitched and my heart began pounding in my chest. Was I ready for this? Yesterday I was planning to move home and take time to think about what I wanted out of life and if that life would include Emmett. Then this morning, when I was putting the last of my toiletries in a bag, I realized the box of tampons under the sink was still unopened and everything changed. Once again, I had no control over what happened in my life. It seemed decisions were constantly taken out of my hands by circumstance and events beyond my control.

I had a baby to think of. I needed to do what was right for the innocent life inside of me. I knew what it was like growing up with one parent, and I didn't like it. Dad and I had been close, but he worked too many hours because Renee's life was too unpredictable to depend on her for any financial help. I wouldn't do that to my child. Emmett loved me and he wants this baby.

I _do_ love him, even if it isn't the deep all-encompassing love I had with Edward. Maybe we're only granted that kind of love once in a lifetime and I'd already been blessed with mine, even if it was for only a short time. I closed my eyes briefly and let myself have a moment to think of Edward. I imagined what it would have been like to share this moment with him. Would I forever compare my life now with how it should have been?

I knew Emmett was waiting for my answer and opened my eyes. I gave him my best smile and nodded.

"I love you too Emmett, and I would be honored to become your wife."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. We just enjoy playing with her characters.**

**3**

Em POV

I watched the water turn red as I washed my hands, dropping my brass knuckles in the sink. I flexed my fingers easing their stiffness. I hate using the damn things. I much prefer the feeling of my bare knuckles taking care of business, but that isn't possible these days. Coming home with bruised or bloodied knuckles would be hard for even Bella to accept as a bad day at the office and Bella is too fucking important for me to screw up.

It pisses me off to no end how much I have to pussy-foot around her. I spend all my fucking time watching what I say, what I do and how I act around her. I swear I'm going to just start handling the street side of the business again just to let off steam. I no longer have my favorite plaything at my disposal. Royce has exclusive use of Rose now. I gave her to James as a reward for handling Bella's father, but he reminded me he isn't into blondes so suggested she go to Royce instead.

Bella is driving me fucking insane. Every time I talk about our future, she changes the subject or gives noncommittal answers. I don't understand how they can make a drug to get my girl in bed, but can't come up with something that gets her to the fucking altar. Maybe I need to invest in a pharmaceutical company and demand _that_ be their top priority. Getting her pregnant obviously isn't working. It's been nine months of non-stop fucking and nothing. I've poked so many damn holes in so many boxes of condoms, I'm beginning to think Bella might not be able to get pregnant. If she can't, I can live with that.

"You know you don't have to get your hands dirty anymore son. You've more than proved yourself already."

I shook the water off my hands and grabbed the towel to dry them, turning to see my father standing in the doorway. Where others his age had developed loose jowls and large paunches from enjoying the excesses that come with our lives, my father had maintained his powerful physique. The only sign of his aging was in the deeper lines surrounding his eyes and the grey in his hair. My father taught me early on to stay away from the merchandise if I wanted to keep power firmly within my fists. He ruled our empire with an iron fist that even our enemies respected.

"I know. I needed to work off some steam," I answered with a shrug. "It helps keep my head clear around Bella."

I threw the towel down on the counter and followed him to the elevator. I heard the anguished screams still coming from behind the closed door down the hall. My father turned the key to allow the elevator to operate again and punched the button to my office floor.

"So what's the verdict? Do you believe his story for being late?" he asked.

"Yeah, Demetri checked into it this morning. His kid is in the hospital like he said. Doc said he needs surgery to remove the tumor in his brain," I explained.

The man in question donated monthly to the 'neighborhood watch' program we offered. He has been late with his contributions the last two months. Our 'collection' agents make personal house calls after three late payments to help get contributors back on track with payment arrangements.

He had immediately launched into his sob story, as soon as he answered his door. His wife showed us the hospital bills to back up his story along with a picture of their two year old son. He was brought in to discuss the terms of his repayment schedule. He would be forgiven and allowed to live as long as his next payment was on time. Fortunately, for him, I have a soft spot for kids, since I'm trying to get Bella pregnant with our own little rugrat.

"So what's got you so worked up today?" he asked.

We settled into chairs in my office after I poured a couple of drinks for us. I took a long swallow enjoying the way it burned going down before answering him.

"Something's off with Bella. She's up to something. I can feel it," I growled.

I stared into my glass wishing the answers swirled within the amber liquid. I can feel my hold on her slipping but can't figure out how or why. She hasn't said or done anything to warrant my suspicions. It's what she hasn't said. I spent a half million on a house complete with a yard for kids and her damn flowers she loves so much and all she says is '_it's nice'_. The shit I went through to find the house that fit the description I used to listen to her, and Fuckward talk about. Not to mention the muscle used to convince the owners it was in their best interest to sell. She should have jumped my bones right there in the living room to show her gratitude.

"Has she done anything to warrant your suspicions?" My father brought me out of my thoughts.

"Nothing I can put my finger on. She's being too careful. That's the fucking problem. It's like she's tiptoeing around me. She says all the right things, but she's holding back something. Ever since she came back from her trip from Bumfucknowhere, she's been distant. It's like she's waiting for something, but fuck if I can figure out what it is. Rose has been fishing for information. Bella's being uncharacteristically tight lipped, which is why I know she's up to something. Bella is an open book and trusting to a fault. She always tells Rose what's going on in her head."

He swallowed his drink and contemplated my problem for a moment. "You sure Rose isn't keeping secrets?" he asked.

I scoffed at that idea. "No, I can guarantee Rose isn't stupid enough to make that mistake. I trained Rose personally and she knows where her loyalties lie if she wants that brother of hers to continue being protected in prison. If she fucks with me her brother gets a bullseye painted on his ass, and I'll put her back on a street corner and offer her services to any asshole with a twenty dollar bill. Trust me, Rose likes her security."

I heard someone knock on the door and called for them to come in. Marcus came in, shaking my father's hand before facing me. Marcus poured a drink and sat on the leather sofa, swirling the ice in his glass.

He looked at me and smirked. "So what'd you do?"

"What the hell does that mean?" My eyes narrowed at his accusations.

"To Bella. She was practically a basket case when I saw her at Rose's place. Hell, you should have seen Royce," he laughed. "He couldn't get out of there fast enough."

I sat up quickly. This was news to me. Bella was just fine when I left this morning. She was quiet, but that wasn't any different from the way she's been lately.

"Fuck! Royce is overseeing the shipment down south. He flew out this morning and is out of pocket until tomorrow. I want to know what the hell is going on with her," I snapped. I slammed my glass on my desk in frustration. Bella's finally cracking that cold façade and no one can tell me what I need to know.

I hit the speed dial for Bella's phone only to have it go to voicemail. I hung up before her message even finished. I hit Rose's speed dial next. It rang once before she answered. I could hear muffled conversation, which was clearly Rose and Bella's voice, but Rose didn't acknowledge the call. I knew this meant she wasn't free to talk but was letting me know she was still with Bella. I was about to hang up, knowing Rose would disconnect the call after only a few seconds as well, when part of her conversation stood out.

"-going to walk out on-"

The call disconnected and I tossed my phone on my desk. I leaned back in my chair brooding over those few words. Were they innocent and only sounded condemning taken out of context? Or was she saying Bella was leaving me? Well, I've got news for her, no one leaves Emmett McCarty. I'll drag her kicking and screaming to the altar if that's what it takes. Well, there was only one way to find out.

"I'm leaving for the day. I've got some things to check out," I informed my father and Marcus. I grabbed my keys and headed out to find my answers.

####

I stared at the contents of the fifth box I'd opened and felt my anger rising. Every last box in this stack was hers and hers alone. Nothing of mine intermingled with her books, knicknacks and clothes. This box was the final nail in her coffin; it was the dishes she bought at a thrift shop from the kitchen. There was no reason for it to be stored with the rest of these, taped and ready to go, when every other box marked '_kitchen_' was actually sitting in the fucking dining room.

I closed the flap again and looked at the outside of the box. No label, just a small discreet '_B_' in the corner. I moved the box to see the ones below were marked with the same inconspicuous marking. Nothing labeled the contents of these boxes like the rest stacked around the condo. Every other box had a commercial label stamped with the moving company's logo and her neat handwriting dictating the room where each box went in the new house. My fingers drummed on the top of the box as I simmered and stared at her scripted _'B'_, complete with the little swirl completing the letter that was her style. That little swirl mocked me. Mocked everything I've done to win Bella for myself.

I've groveled and begged like a homeless man in the streets for every ounce of affection. I've gone to the theater for her; a fucking musical at that. I bought her the most expensive Mercedes on the lot when that disgusting rust bucket of a truck died, albeit with a little help. I've taken her to the finest restaurants, bought her expensive jewelry. Hell, I even took her to those fucking cooking lessons and wore that ridiculous apron with '_Kiss the Cook_' stamped across it. And for what? So this box with her _'B'_ with its fucking little swirl can mock all my hard work?

"Son of a bitch!" I growled.

I shoved the box off the stack and let it crash to the floor, kicking it for good measure. I grabbed the second box determined it would meet the same fate when I heard her. My lying bitch was home. Well, I'd show her, the only way she was leaving me was in a body bag. I flexed my fingers as I strode into the entryway determined to show her the error of her thinking.

####

I looked back at Bella sprawled on her stomach across my bed, her hair in wild disarray across her back and pillows, sound asleep before closing the bedroom door. We celebrated with dinner out with my family announcing our news and then a very satisfying few hours in bed, since there was no longer any reason for the formality of condoms inhibiting my pleasure.

I padded down the hall to my office and poured a drink, walking over to my desk. I sat in my leather chair and put the drink on my desk. I punched in the code to deactivate the lock on the safe set in the cabinet next to my desk and swung open the door. I pulled out my handgun and set it on the polished wood surface of the cabinet and moved some papers to the side. I stretched to reach the small package at the very back of the safe, smiling to myself when my fingers grasped it, pulling it out.

I opened the manila envelope and let the small box slide out into my palm and opened it staring at the contents as I raised my glass to my lips taking a deep swallow. I tilted the box slightly letting the diamond in its antique setting flash brilliantly as the light caught the prisms. I took another swallow of my drink before setting it down and picking up the tiny blue t-shirt lying beside my glass. I smiled at the wording again announcing I was going to be a dad. Bella was pregnant with my baby growing inside of her. She accepted my proposal tonight and _my_ ring graced the fourth finger of her left hand. We would be married in two months' time. I looked at the ring in my hand again and smiled.

"I win."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. We just enjoy playing with her characters.**

**4**

B POV

I waited for the man behind the counter to finish his phone call, so I could get directions. He was attractive and very buff, a good advertisement for the gym in which he worked. If I weren't getting married, I'd sign up just for the chance to ogle him. He definitely qualified for what Alice termed 'lickable'; disgusting, but true none the less. I looked around the gym at the men and women working out. Everyone had earbuds plugged into whatever electronic device they carried, completely oblivious of the people around them.

"How can I help you?"

I turned my attention back to the man in front of me. "I'm here for the prenatal yoga class. My- my doctor recommended it to me," I explained.

I was worried about gaining too much weight too soon with this pregnancy. My last dress fitting had been a disaster. Emmett wanted me to wear a fitted dress for our wedding and everything had been fine until the fitting last week. I felt bad that he was spending all this money on flying Alice, Rose and I back and forth to France for fittings with the designer, and the five pounds I had already gained were messing things up. I didn't realize how quickly my baby bump would grow and have me showing. The design of my dress had to change to a fitted bodice and A-line skirt instead. I actually like it better than the first dress. The fitted dress was extremely uncomfortable and hard to move in.

I was still a little pissed off that Rose let it slip that I had changed the style of the dress to Emmett. I know he's paying for everything, but I didn't think he needed to know every single detail.

Emmett was the one who first suggested that I join the gym to keep from gaining too much weight. I know he's just concerned about my health and that of our baby, but he could have been a little less blunt about it. My hormones are already doing crazy things to my head and making me overly sensitive. Having Emmett remind me that gaining five pounds a month meant I'd probably gain at least forty-five or fifty pounds before the baby came made me feel fat and ugly. My doctor hadn't seemed concerned about it at my check-up, but I didn't want Emmett to think I was being sloppy with our baby's health.

"Not a problem, just fill out this form and be sure to list any health issues, an emergency contact and your doctor's name and number. The class will be starting in about fifteen minutes." He pointed to an archway in the opposite wall beside the weight benches. "The class is in the second room on the left through there. You can give your completed form to Jane. She's the instructor. The ladies locker room is at the end of the hall."

I smiled my thanks and took the clipboard from him and headed to the locker room.

I changed quickly from my street clothes into my exercise clothes. I was sitting on the bench tying my shoes when someone sat beside me. I turned to see a woman with blonde hair tossing her bag in the lower locker in front of her. I stood and tugged at the hem of my shirt settling it into place, before putting my hair up in a ponytail and shutting my locker door.

"Are you also here for the yoga class?"

I turned to the woman who was now standing. She too was pregnant, probably a couple of months further along than I was, judging by the size of her bump. I smiled, my hand going instinctively to my own slight bump that was visible beneath my snug shirt. "Yes. Are you?" I asked.

She rubbed her stomach and nodded. "Yep. Gotta stay in shape if I'm gonna stand a snowball's chance in hell of keeping up with these critters," she grinned.

I raised my eyebrows slightly in surprise at the way she spoke. I would bet she wasn't native to Chicago, or any other Northern state either.

She laughed at my reaction and stuck out her hand. "I'm Charlotte. And no, I'm not from around here. You can take the girl out of the South, but you can't take the South out of the girl."

I shook her hand. "I'm Bella. I'm not from around here either," I volunteered.

Charlotte hooked her arm through mine and pulled me toward the locker room door, winking. "Well, us displaced women are just gonna to have to stick together then aren't we? Let's go show these uppity Yankee bitches how it's done."

I laughed at her comment and shook my head. "I'm from Washington, not the South," I explained.

She waved her hand dismissively at me, laughing. "Well we can't all be perfect. I won't hold it against you though. So Bella, let's go make like a tree or dog or tiger or whatever they call it. Hell let's go bend like a pretzel and hope to hell we can still move when this is over."

####

Our yoga class was hard work, but Charlotte made it fun. I hadn't laughed so hard in long time. Charlotte was open and friendly, and I felt an instant camaraderie with her. We talked about morning sickness and what we liked about our doctors. After showering and getting dressed, Charlotte suggested we find the calories we just worked off over lunch at the small diner across the street.

After placing our orders with the waitress, she turned back to me. "So are you excited about your wedding?"

I took a sip of my herbal tea before answering. "Yes, Emmett is a wonderful man, and he's so excited about our baby. He was there for me when Ed- when my father died." I stopped myself from mentioning Edward. Yes, Emmett helped me through my grieving over his death, but I didn't want to get into explanations about Edward. I just met Charlotte and she didn't want to hear my whole sad story.

She stared at me thoughtfully for a moment. Her eyebrow quirked like she was trying to solve a puzzle. "You didn't say you love this Emmett you're marrying, though. Why is that?"

Her question pricked at my conscience. "Of course I love him. That goes without saying. He's a good man and I'm just lucky that he loves me enough to put up with all my baggage."

She stared at me another moment. I got the impression that Charlotte could sense there was a lot more to my situation than I was comfortable with exposing. "Hmm. That's good then," she said dismissively.

She dropped the subject as the waiter came back and set our plates on the table. We ate for a few minutes before I broke the silence. "So are you and your husband nervous about having triplets?" I asked.

She touched her napkin to her mouth and grinned, rubbing her stomach. "Hell yeah! I damn near had a cow and Peter nearly shit himself when the doctor dropped the bombshell on us. Peter told me I took bargain shopping entirely too serious," she cackled.

I shook my head in amazement at her. I was learning quickly Charlotte had a unique way of saying things. I didn't know if it was how all women from Texas spoke, or if it was just her. "What does bargain shopping have to do with having triplets?" I asked in confusion.

"You know, one good fuck and I get three babies instead of just one," she explained. "I swear my brother fainted dead away when I called him with the news too. He threatened to fly up here and castrate Peter personally for knocking up his baby sister." She leaned across the table and winked. "Between you and me, I don't think my brother has gotten over the fact that I married a damn Yankee. Plus he hates Peter's work, but I'm blinded by love, so he's just gonna have to get over it," she said with a shrug.

"What does Peter do for a living? Is he in the mob or something?" I asked, suddenly nervous that I may be sitting with a criminal or a criminal's wife.

"Oh it's worse than that," she laughed. "Peter's a politician. You may have even heard of him if you listen to politics at all." At my look of confusion, she slapped her forehead. "Shit! I never told you my last name. Sometimes I swear I don't know where my head is. A friend of mine back home calls it 'prenatal stupids'. She said after the babies are born, I can just start calling them 'postpartum stupids' until they turn eighteen." She put her hand to her chest. "I'm Charlotte Whitlock-_Ashton_."

She waited to see if I would make the connection on my own. I looked at her with wide eyes. "_Mayor_ Ashton is your husband?"

She laughed at my reaction. "No, _Peter_ Ashton is my husband. _Mayor_ is just his job." She reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "Please Bella. I don't know very many people in Chicago and the catty women who usually want to be my friend are either looking for gossip, the limelight or want my husband to do favors for theirs. I'm really not into all that crap, and I would like at least one normal friend in this place. Please say you won't hold my husband's job against me?"

I squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Will it help if I tell you I didn't even vote last November? That's how interested I am in politics. Although I'm sure Emmett would love to know I'm friends with the mayor's wife," I laughed. "I won't hold Peter's job against you if you don't hold Emmett's against me. He works with a lot of politicians, bankers and businessmen and probably knows your husband. Emmett and his father own McCarty Security."

The smile on Charlotte's face stilled for a moment as she leaned back against the booth. Her expression became guarded as she continued to stare at me. She took a long sip of her tea before staring at me again.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"I've heard Peter mention the company. They have a finger in a lot of things in this city." She shook her head slightly. "Bella how much do you know about your fiancé and his family's business?" she asked, hesitantly.

I shrugged, not understanding the strain in her voice. "Not much. Emmett doesn't talk about his business with me. He likes to keep work and home separate. Why?"

She smiled again, though it was strained. "No reason, just curious. Look I can tell you're about as friendly as I'm gonna find in this godforsaken city, and I like you and think we could be great friends. As long as we leave our husbands and everyone else out of this," she stressed. "So whada ya say? Can you keep a secret?"

It was a strange request, but I guess I could understand her feelings. She had obviously been burned by a friend in the past and didn't want that to happen again. I knew Emmett would love the connection as an in to her husband. I had Rose and Alice, but neither of them were pregnant or married. It would be nice to have a friend to talk to who was going through the same thing I was and could share with. I smiled and made the motion of crossing my finger over my heart. "Cross my heart, our friendship will be just our secret."

"And if you ever need anything. _Anything_," she stressed mysteriously, "I want you to know you can count on me. That's what real friends are for."


	6. Chapter 6

**CONTENT WARNING: In this chapter, Bella will discover Emmett's true character. This story will not end with Bella & Emmett living HEA. He is not Prince Charming hiding in wolf's clothing. He murdered Edward and her father just to be able to claim Bella for himself. There is no way to make him redeemable in this story, and I have no intentions of doing so. **

**Bella will get a happy ending … with someone else. **

**This chapter contains violence against women toward the end. If this is a trigger, please do not read or proceed with caution. It is NOT graphic, but it's there just the same. I've annotated in BOLD CAPS where the violence begins (it's only a couple of paragraphs near the end) so you can read until that point and then skip past it to the end. **

**A/N: SM owns Twilight, I'm just borrowing her characters for my own twisted amusement. I do, however, own **_**Blind Faith**_** and **_**The Darkness of Perfection**_**. (Wow, that felt good to be able to say!)**

**Thanks to my wonderful beta, Lea for all you do. Thanks also to my pre-readers for this chapter: footroza, Thaigher Lillie and Seraphslastkiss.**

**5**

The clock in the living room chimed twelve times announcing the start of a new day. I swatted my hand angrily at my cheeks brushing away the latest round of tears I'd shed tonight. It feels like the man I married is slipping away and being replaced by someone I don't know. It's our six-month anniversary and we would be having a baby any time now. So many things have changed in such a short amount of time. I wish we could go back to Italy, to our quiet villa on the beach where it was just the two of us, or at least, had been for the first three weeks. The last week of our honeymoon I spent either waiting for Emmett to come back from playing golf everyday with his uncle and his uncle's business associates or exploring the sights with a personal tour guide Emmett hired to entertain me.

That man had been a horrible guide. He wore a suit and mirrored sunglasses. He was tall and muscular, only slightly smaller than Emmett in stature, and intimidating with his cold, hard demeanor. He didn't speak to me, unless I asked him a question and couldn't offer any interesting antidotes or facts about any of the places we went. He would just grunt in response and assure me anything I wanted to know was in the travel guide I carried. After the first day, I gave up trying to have a conversation with the man and just ignored him.

I thought when we came home, we'd get back into our old routine of evenings together cooking dinner and walks in the park. I knew he would be busy at first catching up with work, but that was months ago. There was no excuse for him to constantly be late any longer. The bigger my belly got, the more he seemed to pull away from me. Even Rose didn't have time to spend with me as often as she used to. She got a promotion at her job, which meant she worked more hours. I'd called her the other day to invite her shopping only to have her laugh at me that not all of us could spend our days with mindless shopping.

The nursery was complete. All the little pink blankets and clothing washed and waiting for this precious gift to make use of them. Esme and Alice had flown in for my baby shower and stayed for the weekend to visit. Emmett was home and played the proud expectant father and doting husband to the hilt. I didn't want to ruin their trip so I covered my growing depression with fake smiles and constant questions about home. No sooner had their plane left the ground than Emmett got a call from the office and had to leave.

My yoga classes and lunches with Charlotte were the only bright spot in my days. Our friendship continued to grow with Emmett none the wiser. She gave birth to beautiful triplets; two boys and one girl, two months ago. She was busy with her new babies, so we'd only been able to have lunch a couple of times since their arrival. Maybe after my baby is born, we can get together for play dates in the future.

I heard the garage door open and the sound of Emmett's sports car turning into our drive. I had passed worried into full-on pissed off two hours ago. I saw the doctor this afternoon and was a little put out that he couldn't come with me, but tried not to hold it against him. For our anniversary, I fixed his favorite dinner and even made his mother's chocolate mousse for dessert. It was perfect when it came out of the oven. It was a blob of chocolate goop now. The lasagna was cold, the salad was warm and wilted, and the garlic bread was dry and hard. The long tapered candles on the dining room table had burned down to small nubs; the wax now puddled and hardened on the white lace tablecloth.

"_It's ruined now." _I thought to myself.

As the motor of the garage door signaled it was closing, I heard his engine cut off and the car door slam. I sat in the dark and waited for him. His heavy footsteps entered the mudroom and headed into the kitchen. He was talking on his cell phone; his voice too low for me to make out the words. The light from the refrigerator being opened threw shadows on the kitchen wall momentarily before he closed it again. I heard him laugh at whatever the person on the other end of the call was saying and a bottle cap hitting the counter and shook my head in disbelief. He had gotten beer, which meant he was in no rush to come to bed.

My hurt and anger increased tenfold in that moment, as I struck the match on the box in my hand relighting the candles on the table. I waited for him to notice while he drank his beer and continued his quiet conversation punctuated with the occasional low chuckle. His footsteps came closer to the dining room and I could just barely make out what he was saying.

"I'll see you tomorrow at seven. Blue was fine, but I want the black tomorrow," he stated mysteriously, chuckling.

I knew the moment he realized I was still up and waiting for him.

"I gotta go. Don't forget. Black."

A chill went down my spine at the possibilities of his conversation, but I didn't want to think about it. Emmett wouldn't do that to me. Would he? I took a deep breath and straightened my spine in readiness when I heard him approach the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. I knew he wouldn't be able to see me very well with only the two candles burning on the table, but I wanted the effect of seeing me waiting in the dark for him to come home, to sink in and make him feel guilty for his thoughtless actions.

He flipped the switch on the wall next to him, and I blinked several times for my eyes to become accustomed to the sudden light. He leaned his shoulder against the door frame and took in the sight of the ruined dinner on the table. He raised his eyebrow in question at me and silently took another drink of his beer.

I barely stopped my jaw from dropping at his audacity. He didn't offer an apology for not coming home until midnight. He didn't offer an apology for not calling to let me know he was working late and not answering his phone when I called to check on him. He was waiting for _me_ to explain myself!

"Where were you?" I accused.

"Working."

My rehearsed speech was forgotten at his casual attitude, and I stood to leave the room before I embarrassed myself. My eyes stung as they filled with angry tears and I walked as quickly as I possibly could toward the other doorway to go upstairs. I'd be damned if I let him see me cry.

"Are you going to leave this mess?"

I turned to stare at him, no longer able to hide my disbelief. "Are you serious? That's all you have to say to me?" I gasped. "I have been worried sick; not knowing if something happened and you were dead in a ditch or lying unconscious in a hospital somewhere. Because that's the only explanation I could come up with for why you couldn't be bother to let me know you were working late _again_. It's our six-month anniversary, and you knew I had a doctor's appointment today and you didn't even call to check on me. I don't understand what's happening to you. What happened to the Emmett I married? You're only home for Sunday dinners with your family, otherwise you're always working!"

My voice had risen steadily until I was shouting at him and I couldn't stop sobbing. He tilted the bottle to his lips again and finished the last of his beer before setting it on the table and walking over to me. I expected him to gather me in his arms and offer me assurances that it would never happen again. I was wrong.

**~~VIOLENCE WARNING BEGINS~~**

My hand went immediately to my stinging cheek. No one had ever hit me before and I didn't know how to process the concept that my husband had just slapped me. I stared up at him in shock for two seconds before I turned and ran up the stairs to our bedroom. I grabbed an overnight bag from our closet, throwing it on the bed and began grabbing clothes to pack.

One of the things my dad stressed to me growing up, and especially after boys started calling the house, was zero tolerance for abuse. He saw too much in his line of work, even in our small town, and was determined his daughter wouldn't become another statistic. It was part of why he had loved Edward. He trusted that he would never hurt me. Emmett's one slap was the only one he would ever get.

I sniffed and wiped my eyes as I continued to pack my bag. My mind was so busy making and discarding plans for where to go for the night and needing to book a flight to Washington in the morning, that I didn't hear Emmett enter the room.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" he asked. His voice was calm, like nothing happened.

I didn't even bother turning to look at him. "I'm leaving." I snapped. "I will not stay married to a man who hits me."

His dark laugh made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. It was the only warning I received.

The low murmur of voices and a steady beeping noise were the first sounds I became aware of as I regained consciousness. My eyes fluttered open and I blinked in confusion at the white tiled ceiling above me. Turning my head slowly toward the voices, caused pain in my neck and my head felt like it was going to split in two. I tried to focus on the three male figures in the room, but everything seemed distorted. I swallowed painfully and tried to wet my lips with my tongue only to stop when it stung and I realized my lip was cut. I painfully raised my fingers to my face and felt the swelling on my busted lip. I continued to probe gently and found the reason for my distorted vision. My left eye was swollen shut and I could feel a bandage on my cheekbone below it.

I began to hyperventilate and struggled to rise, crying out, drawing the attention of the men in the room. Emmett rushed to my side while one of the men; a doctor I assumed, checked the machines and the IV line I hadn't realized was attached to the back of my hand.

"Shh, Bella. You're alright. You're safe now. You're in the hospital."

My attention returned to Emmett and the memories came flooding back at once. He'd slapped me and I was packing to leave. My back was turned to him when he'd grabbed my arm and spun me around. I instinctively slapped him in response to his rough treatment only to have him slap me repeatedly before he threw me to the ground. I'd tried to crawl away from him, and he'd … my hand flew to my stomach, regardless of the pain it caused.

It took me a moment to realize the awful keening noise was coming from me. My dreams of the little girl who was due in just two weeks were gone; destroyed by the monster beside me acting so sad and heartbroken.

"I'm sorry Bella. There will be other babies. I'm so sorry I wasn't home in time to stop them."

His words barely registered in my grief. Who was "_them"_? _He_ had done this. He killed our baby with his repeated kicks to my abdomen and ribs.

"You—" I croaked.

His eyes cut to the doctor who was speaking with a uniformed police officer, before narrowing on me again. I whimpered when he squeezed my hand he was holding painfully in warning. He leaned down as though to kiss my head and whispered ominously in ear.

"You were attacked in a home invasion. You don't remember anything. You keep your fucking mouth shut or I'll shut it for you. Permanently."

My eyes widened in fear as I stared into the face of the monster I'd unknowingly married and his words sunk in. I flinched instinctively when his thumb caught the tear that slipped out of the corner of my right eye.

**~~VIOLENCE WARNING END~~**

"Mrs. McCarty? I need to ask you some questions."

I turned to look at the police officer standing at the foot of my bed. Having a father who was a police chief and spending my free time hanging out at the station in the summers had taught me there was a natural air or quality about a man or woman in uniform who took pride in their badge and their position to uphold the law. This man didn't give off that same feeling. He was in his late forties or early fifties, probably around the same age as my dad before he died. His uniform was creased and ill-fitting, and he appeared bored. The doctor left the room without ever speaking to me as the officer pulled out a notepad. I noticed he didn't have a pen in hand.

"Your husband already told us what happened, but I have to hear it from you to file my report," he explained in a dull tone. He took a breath, sighing heavily and began reciting what was written on his pad. "You were home alone when you heard someone breaking in through the back door. You went upstairs to call 911 when you were attacked from behind. You didn't see your attacker, or attackers, and were left unconscious on your bedroom floor where Mr. McCarty found you when he got home. He immediately called 911 and you regained consciousness briefly, telling your husband what happened before passing out again."

He flipped the cover of his notepad and finally looked at me for the first time. "Is that correct?"

I was mindful of the painful grip on my hand and the threat hanging in the air and closed my eyes in defeat, nodding in agreement. The grip on my hand released and I felt Emmett's cool lips press against my temple.

"Very good Bella. See, that wasn't so hard now, was it?" he praised me softly. I felt the wetness of tears track endlessly down my face and turned away from him willing myself to fade into oblivion while he finished speaking to the officer.

"I've hired a security detail to watch over my wife until you catch the perpetrators Officer O'Donald. I expect to hear from you that everything humanly possible is being done to catch these criminals. I'll even offer my own men to assist with the task. I want someone punished for this crime."

The voices dimmed as Emmett escorted him from the room. Emmett's announcement that I would have security watching the house meant that he would know if I made any attempt to leave him. I was trapped, but I vowed somehow I would escape him and make him pay for killing my baby.

I just wish I knew how.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Reminder – I have donated a o/s "Sins of the Past" to the Texas Wildfire Relief, which is Carlisle's pov from my other story "Creating a Mate". The teaser is posted as the latest chapter of CAM.  
**_

_**For donating as little as $5 you will receive a plethora of stories from some very talented writers while helping out the victims of the Labor Day fires.**_

_**Texasfires (dot) ysar (dot) info/**_

_**A/N: Warning – there is mention of violence against women in this chapter. It is not graphic, but it's there. If this is a trigger for you either skip over or read with caution. **_

**Disclaimer: No matter how many stars I wish on, SM still owns everything Twilight.**

**6**

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I didn't recognize the face in front of me any longer. The heavy foundation had done its job and hid the discoloration under my right eye from any casual observer. I checked my reflection one last time before turning away, satisfied with my efforts, and headed back into the bedroom to finish dressing; my movements were robotic and automated. I slipped on my heels and stood, smoothing the knitted fabric of my short dress in an attempt to find an extra inch or two in the hem with no luck. There was nothing for it. I just wouldn't be able to bend over and would have to be extremely cautious when I was sitting tonight so I didn't flash anyone who happened to look.

"Damn, you look good enough to fucking eat," Emmett growled, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me hard against his body.

I jumped, a short scream leaving my lips before I could stifle it. I turned my head to look up at Emmett's narrowed eyes and trembled as his fingers dug into my hips.

"I'm sorry," I rushed to offer. Those two words had become my mantra for my marriage. I was sorry for so many things I'd lost count. My list was endless, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Emmett believed I was sorry for jumping at his touch. "I didn't hear you come in, and I was startled. I promise." My words trailed off at the end, and I swallowed instinctively, waiting to see if he accepted my apology.

He removed his right hand from the fierce grip he had on my hip and wrapped it around my throat. I fought the instinct to flinch at my vulnerable position and how quickly his large hand could cut off my air supply. He didn't squeeze though, just rubbed his thumb up and down the side of my neck, watching me closely. Time seemed to stand still while I waited to see what he would do next. I offered him a weak smile that I'm sure looked more like a grimace. His fingers tightened slightly, and I breathed in a swift intake of air, not knowing if this time it would be my last.

"Please," I quietly begged for mercy, and my eyes filled with tears against my will.

He grinned widely and leaned in. His lips covered mine, and my mouth opened automatically to his fierce kiss. It became harder to breath between the fingers at my throat and his merciless assault on my mouth. I whimpered into his mouth and struggled to breathe in through my nose to get air into my frantic lungs. My fingernails dug into the palms of my hands as I fought to keep them at my sides and not claw at the hand at my throat. That would only make him angry. I became lightheaded and blackness threatened to overtake me as my lungs wrung out the last remnants of air I had stored when he finally raised his head and loosened his grip on my neck, allowing me to breathe again. I gasped, and my lungs burned from the abuse.

"Happy anniversary, Bella," Emmett smiled. "I think you're ready to celebrate now. You won't give me any trouble, will you?"

"I promise," I croaked and shook my head slightly.

When he released me and stepped away, I rubbed my throat, trying to ease the pain. I couldn't prevent the shudder that ran down my spine once his back was turned to pick up my wrap from the bed. He walked back to me with it in his hands and let his eyes rake over me. My black dress was snug to show off my curves. The wide scoop neck left my shoulders bare above the sleeves that started on my upper arms, and the hemline stopped so far above my knees it was indecent. Four-inch hooker heels completed the look. My skin crawled at his appraisal. His look that used to make me feel beautiful now only made me feel dirty.

He shook his head and hummed in approval. "I'll say it again—damn fine! I'll have to take you shopping again. This outfit is so much better than that frumpy shit you usually wear."

_What, tasteful, as opposed to looking like a whore like I do now? _I thought to myself. I knew better than to say those words out loud. It was never wise to disagree with my husband. His word was law in our house—a lesson he had repeatedly pounded into me until I got it.

###

The music pounded in my ears, giving me a headache. I rubbed my temples and took a drink of the alcoholic beverage Emmett had ordered for me. The bitter taste of tequila hit my tongue, and I quickly put it back on the small table in front of me. I haven't been a fan of tequila since the night I lost control of my senses and ended up in bed with Emmett that first time. I saw tequila as somewhere to place blame for the beginning of my ongoing stupidity where he was concerned. If I hadn't gotten so drunk, I wouldn't have ended up in bed with Emmett. I would have waited to take our relationship further, and maybe I would have seen through his dimples and overwhelming presence and run before it was too late.

"Shoulda woulda coulda" was what my life had been reduced to.

Emmett took me to dinner, then out dancing at his favorite club to celebrate our anniversary. He kept me on the dance floor, pawing at me while grinding his pelvis into mine and being lewd and disgusting for the first half-hour until one of his friends interrupted, needing to talk with him about something. He'd ushered me to the table with firm instructions to stay put until he returned. That was over an hour ago.

I used the time alone to think about how much my life had spiraled out of control. Today was our one-year anniversary, and nothing was like I thought it would be when I walked down the aisle three hundred sixty-five days ago. Back then I thought Emmett loved me and our baby. I knew better now. He had killed our baby and any love or affection I had felt for him. Since that horrible night he let the mask of the man I knew drop completely. It was no longer necessary to pretend to be something he wasn't. He was a monster, plain and simple. There wasn't a kind bone in his whole body. It had all been an act to win me over, nothing more.

When he brought me home from the hospital, he'd made me an appointment with my doctor to get on birth control as soon as possible. He wasn't interested in being a father anytime soon. He'd let me know when he was ready for me to start popping out rugrats—his words, not mine. After I healed from my injuries and miscarriage, I tried to contact Carlisle and Esme to help me leave Emmett and suffered for that mistake. I haven't spoken to them or Alice since. Emmett's threats to hurt them if they showed up in Chicago put a stop to my ever contacting them again. I didn't know if Emmett was capable of carrying through on his threat or not, but it wasn't worth the risk to their safety to find out.

My friendship with Charlotte was all I had. Fortunately, Emmett was all in favor of my continuing yoga classes. He'd told me I had to "get my figure back." Charlotte had started coming to the gym again now that the triples were a little older, but our lunches were a thing of the past. I didn't trust myself to spend that much time with her and not blurt out the truth. I could tell she knew something was wrong, but I was too embarrassed about the way my life had turned out. I didn't want to involve her in my troubles, so I'd smile and tell her it was just depression over the loss of my baby. It wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.

The truth was my life had become a nightmare. The man I thought I knew all this time was a myth. He came and went as he saw fit, and I'd learned the hard way where he was spending his time when I'd tried one last time to get help from someone I thought was my friend, only to learn differently. It was a month after I lost my baby and I'd inadvertently made him angry…again.

The backdoor slammed closed, and I heard his car back out of the driveway before driving away. Only then did I feel it was safe to breathe again. I pulled myself up off the floor and stepped carefully around the broken dishes and food over to the refrigerator. I took the ice pack out of the freezer and wrapped it in a dish towel before holding it to my throbbing face. A careful touch to my lip with my tongue, tasting rust and salt, let me know he'd split my lip again, too.

How was I supposed to know he didn't want spaghetti for dinner? I was still learning how to act around this new Emmett I was married to. My comment about not being a mind reader was spoken without thought to the possible consequences. I wasn't used to living in this kind of fear. I didn't know what would set him off or if there even was a trigger for Emmett's abuse. I was terrified that maybe he didn't have a trigger and just enjoyed hitting me for the hell of it.

Looking around at the mess he'd made of the kitchen, my eyes fell on the broken platter on the floor. It had belonged to my grandmother, and it was something from my childhood I'd always loved. Something else Emmett had taken from me. I couldn't stop the sobs that came. Of all the things to cry over, a platter is what finally broke me.

He took my baby.

He took my love.

He took my hopes and dreams.

He took everything from me until I had nothing left. Not even my grandmother's platter.

I left the house, not even thinking about whether anyone was really watching me, or if it was just an empty threat, and drove to Rose's condo. I really needed my friend and someone who knew Emmett, someone who could help me figure out what went wrong. I wanted to know if he'd ever been violent with her when they'd dated in college.

I rode the elevator to her floor and knocked on her door. I'd seen her new sports car in the garage downstairs, so I knew she was home. I waited a couple of minutes and when she didn't answer I knocked again, louder. I heard movement inside and Rose's muffled voice yell, "Hold on!"

I couldn't tell you who was more startled when she opened her door. I had clearly interrupted something. Her hair was messy, and she quickly wrapped her short robe tighter around her nude body.

"I … I thought Royce was out of town?" It sounded stupid, but it was the only thing I could think to say.

I caught a flicker of what appeared to be sadness in her eyes before it was gone, and she stood a little straighter. "I'm not with Royce any longer," she snapped.

She turned her head away from me, and I saw the strawberry mark on her neck where someone had recently left a hickey. I heard footsteps above us walking down her hallway toward the stairs. She turned back to me, staring at the bruise on my face and busted lip.

"Go home, Bella. You don't belong here." If I weren't standing in front of her, I wouldn't have recognized the cold, hard voice coming from the friend I'd known for over four years.

My eyes widened in shock and fear at the man who came down the stairs. He was shirtless and his dress pants, the ones I'd just picked up from the dry cleaners yesterday, were unbuttoned. I watched as if the scene were happening to someone else and not me as he walked up behind her and wrapped his hand around her waist, tugging her robe open in the process. I couldn't stop staring at all the strawberry marks peppered across her breasts and stomach … and thighs.

I stared at them both, so hurt by her betrayal that had obviously been going on for a while, if the number of hickeys were any indication, that I spoke without thinking—again.

"How could you? I thought you were my friend! How could you betray my trust like this?" I accused her.

Emmett leaned down and spoke close to her ear, staring at me, daring me to look away while he twisted and pulled at her bared nipples in front of me. "Tell her, Rose. Tell Bella how her friend, someone she trusted, could betray her so easily," he chuckled darkly.

Again, that fleeting sorrow crossed her eyes before they hardened again. "Friends? With you?" she sneered, looking me up and down like I was nothing more than garbage. She leaned back farther into Emmett's body and covered his hands with hers. "You're nothing but a mousy little girl who has no idea how to please a man like Emmett. Spending time with you is like fingernails on a chalkboard."

Emmett chuckled, listening to her attack, then stood up straight and pushed Rose away so we were facing each other alone. Rose sauntered away from us and slowly climbed the stairs to her bedroom. I didn't understand the look she gave me before disappearing from view and was stopped from further speculation when Emmett grabbed me by my hair and shoved me against the wall.

"How dare you follow me!" he growled. "Get your ass home and you better be fucking waiting for me when I get there, too. I think you need another fucking lesson."

"Please, Emmett, I … I didn't know you would be here. I swear," I begged. "Please don't hurt me again."

Later that night I learned just how much Emmett despised begging. Every day was a new lesson in terror living with Emmett. The worst days were those when he was nice to me, because all I could do was wait anxiously for the other shoe to drop. Life was easier when I knew what to expect.

I sighed again and dropped my face in my hands, rubbing at my temples to ease the pain.

"Bella—"

I jumped when Emmett's voice broke me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to see him standing with Royce, James and another man I didn't know. The friend who'd interrupted us earlier was walking away.

"James is going to take you home. I have somewhere to be." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me quickly from the booth, then twisted it behind my back, making me flinch at the pain. "Do not give him any fucking trouble, do you hear me?"

My eyes cut to James, who was standing nearby, watching us with a neutral expression. I didn't know him very well. He didn't come around the house much and when he did, he never spoke to me. I looked back at Emmett and nodded.

"I won't," I assured him.

He leaned in, ravaging my mouth, staking his claim in front of everyone before he pushed me toward James. "Take her home and then meet us at the warehouse."

James wrapped his fingers around my upper arm and nodded to Emmett. "You got it," he answered.

I quickly grabbed my purse and let James guide me through the crush of people toward the exit. We drove in silence back to the house, and he walked me up the front steps. I stumbled on the steps and would have fallen if he hadn't acted so quickly to catch me. When I regained my balance, a slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he leaned in to speak close to my ear.

"We can't let the Bellybean fall now, can we?"

I gasped and pulled away to search his face. "Wha … what did you say?"

He looked around before turning back to me again, pulling me up the rest of the stairs and across the front porch.

"You heard me the first time. Someone is always watching the house. I can't help you, but if you see an opportunity, run as far and as fast as you can. Don't go back to Forks or anywhere Emmett can find you." I didn't know when he took my key or opened the door as I was in shock. "I'm sorry I can't do more for you." He reached out, tucking my hair behind my ear and gently brushed the bruise on my cheek, a sad smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He lifted my hand and squeezed it lightly, handing my keys to me. "Take care of yourself."

He left me frozen in the living room; the click of the front door closing behind him let me know I was alone. I closed my eyes, and a single tear slid down my cheek. For the first time in six months, I felt hope.

###

_**Some of you have asked why Emmett would abuse Bella and cause her to lose their baby after working so hard to get her pregnant. Getting Bella pregnant was a means to an end only. From the very beginning Emmett desired Bella and wanted her for his own. She became an obsession to win – you always want what you can't have. You'll see more from his perspective in the next chapter.**_

_**Without giving anything away, just know things are about to take a major shift in the story. I promise Bella is going to get her happy ending. **_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: The beginning of this chapter contains domestic violence. If this is a trigger for you please skip down to the bold text that indicates the end. This chapter marks the shift in the story for Bella. **

**I said in the a/n at the end of the last chapter we'd hear more from Emmett this time, but I've decided against it. Emmett is a monster, plain and simple. There is no justification, twisted or not, for what he's done to Bella. **

**This will be the last chapter I post before the holidays. We have a wedding and Christmas in December so my life is going to be extremely nuts until it's all over.**

**I want to wish all my readers a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!**

**Disclaimer: SM still owns Twilight and thankfully Summit did a great job with Breaking Dawn Part 1.**

**Song: This I Promise You by NSync **

Ch 7

Bella's pov

I cried out in pain when the back of my head hit the wall and slid to the ground, curling into a protective fetal position.

"You stupid bitch! What good are you?" Emmett snarled. "I swear to fucking God, you're completely useless. If you weren't my wife I'd put you on a street corner to teach you just how good you've got it."

"I'm sorry," I cried. "I couldn't breathe! I panicked! I swear I didn't do it on purpose."

He grabbed me up by my hair and shoved me face first into his desk. Papers scattered across the desk, and I knocked his lamp and phone onto the floor with my flailing arms. He drove into me harshly, making me scream. I clawed at the wooden surface, seeking any way to pull away from the punishing force Emmett was using to rape me again. There was no other word for it. It wasn't making love. It wasn't even sex. He was violent and brutal.

I stared at the photograph of us on the beach in Italy he kept on his desk. It was the only thing that hadn't fallen to the floor. I had been happy in that picture, but I wasn't that girl any longer. She didn't exist. Emmett had killed any traces of her in me. I couldn't even remember why she was laughing in the photo.

His cell phone rang somewhere on the floor. Five Finger Death Punch's song "Bad Company" indicated it was Royce calling. He grunted and pounded into me again before finishing. He used my back for leverage to push himself off of me and left me lying there, heaving for air while he searched for his phone.

"What?" he snapped. "I was fucking my wife, and you're interrupting."

I closed my eyes, humiliated even further that someone else knew about my shame. I pushed myself up, standing on shaky legs, and began searching for my clothes.

"Why the fuck didn't you say so? I've been wanting to get a piece of that bastard for years. Give me an hour to meet you at the warehouse. And, Royce, no one touches him until I get there."

I crept to the door just as he ended his call.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

I flinched and turned quickly to face him, holding my clothes against me like a shield.

"I—I was going to take a shower and get cleaned up. I—I have yoga today," I stuttered.

He stared at me a moment, rubbing his chin in thought. I hated the gleam in his eye. It meant he wasn't finished, and there would be more pain before the day was over.

"When is your next shot?"

"What?" I asked, confused by the sudden change of topic.

He crossed the room quickly and grabbed me by the throat. "How many times do I have to tell you? You. Do. Not. Ask. The questions. I'm the head of this family, and you do what you're told." He leaned in and snarled in my face. "When?"

"N-next Tuesday," I choked out.

He released the grip on my throat and raised his hand to my head, causing me to flinch automatically. This caused him to chuckle when he gently pushed my hair from my face.

"So jumpy," he tsked. "I think a baby would calm you down considerably and give you something to do during the day."

I stared at him with wide eyes. Fear filled my soul as I thought of losing another baby to his violence—or worse—if it lived. I couldn't imagine raising a baby with Emmett as a father. I would kill myself before I brought an innocent child into the madness of my life.

"A baby?" I couldn't stop myself from questioning him. He hadn't mentioned a baby since killing ours almost a year ago. "I thought you didn't want chil…" My voice tapered off as I realized my mistake too late.

****VIOLENCE ENDS****

I was sprawled on the floor, not knowing how I got there. Movement was painful, but I pushed myself up off the floor. Silence filled the house, assuring me Emmett had left for wherever he was meeting Royce.

I picked up my shirt lying next to me on the floor. Painfully pulling it over my head, I surveyed the mess in the room. The papers and lamp were still lying forgotten on the floor, but were now joined by an overturned chair and a picture that had fallen from the wall.

I began setting everything right again, knowing if Emmett came home and found his office in this condition he'd beat me again. Not that he needed a reason, but I tried to avoid it when possible. Tears slipped unheeded down my chin as I worked, thinking over Emmett's directive.

He wanted a baby now.

Something was fixing to happen that would show his father he was ready to take over the business. Having a baby was a sign he was ready to settle down and take responsibility. I would never understand the way his mind worked or the way he justified his actions.

The only thing I knew was that I would not, could not get pregnant. I needed to find a way to stay on my birth control without his knowledge. I sank down in the chair behind his desk and sobbed brokenly into my hands.

"Daddy? Edward? If you can hear me, please…I need your help. I can't do this anymore."

A draft of cool air touched my arm, and I lowered my hands, searching the room in vain. I was still alone in the silence. I sniffed at my silly notion that my dad or Edward could help me when they were both dead and gone. There was no such thing as ghosts, and wherever they were, if they were looking down on me, they'd be filled with disgust and disappointment in what I had allowed to happen to me.

I pushed away from the desk and bumped into the cabinet safe beside it. The door was slightly ajar. Evidently Emmett hadn't closed it all the way when he was in it last. I went to push it closed, but hesitated as curiosity got the better of me. I pulled the door open all the way and slid to the floor to examine the contents he kept hidden.

At first there was nothing interesting. Several bank statements from different banks in the city, an investment portfolio, our passports and marriage certificate. I was tempted to tear up the last. I pushed them to the side and slid my hand farther back and came in contact with something hard. I wrapped my fingers around it and pulled out a Glock.

It was loaded with a full clip, and I slowly turned it over in my hands. Being a cop's daughter, I was familiar with guns and how to handle them. My dad had raised me on the belief that "guns didn't kill people; it was the person behind the gun that killed them." I held the gun closer to inspect it better and couldn't find the serial number—it had been filed off, meaning the gun was illegal.

I tried to think of any reason why Emmett would have an illegal handgun in the house. His family owned a security company, and I knew Emmett had a license to carry.

So why did he need an illegal handgun? Only criminals needed weapons that weren't traceable, and Emmett wasn't a criminal. He was a monster, but he wasn't the sort of criminal that needed a gun.

I shook my head, unable to reconcile the evidence in my hands with everything I knew about my husband, and pushed the gun back to its hiding place in the safe. The sound of something crinkling caught my attention, and I leaned in and pulled out a bulky manila envelope.

"Hmm. That's odd," I mumbled, seeing the embossed outline of a snowcapped mountain on the back flap. I turned it over and dropped the envelope like it was on fire. My hands flew to my throat, and I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. I reached tentatively for the envelope again. This time I held it reverently and traced the name written on the front.

_Edward Cullen – Cabin 24_

My chin trembled as I was overwhelmed by emotion. "I miss you so much Edward," I whispered. "God, I loved you. Why did you have to die on that mountain? Everything would have been so different if you'd lived."

The splatter of tears darkened the envelope, and I quickly brushed them away, afraid they'd smudge his name and make it disappear. I glanced at the upper corner and read the return address stamped on the envelope. It was the ski lodge where he'd died. I looked at the writing again and thought back. Cabin twenty-four was our cabin where we'd stayed with Emmett and Rosalie.

The envelope in my hands was from _that_ trip…and it was addressed to Edward, not Emmett.

I trembled as I opened the clasp and shook out the contents in my hand. A broken piece of metal fell out first and then a black velvet box. The piece of metal meant nothing to me so I dropped it back in the envelope. I stared at the small velvet box as if I could see through the materials to the inside.

I was filled with a sense of foreboding at the thought of opening the box. Somehow I knew everything would change when I did, and I was terrified, knowing what was in the box would only make things worse. I gnawed on my lip painfully, only stopping when I tasted blood, turning the box over and over in my hands.

"Like a band-aid," I told myself. Rip it off at once and be done with it.

I opened the lid before I chickened out again and choked on a strangled cry of grief. Shaky fingers pulled out the ring. I yanked my wedding and engagement rings off my finger and slid the ring on my finger where it belonged as memories flooded my mind.

It was during our last Thanksgiving together. We were back home and shopping the Black Friday sales at the mall for gifts. I'd dragged Edward into a jewelry store.

"Aren't you tired yet?" Edward grumbled, shifting the bulk of packages to his other hand. "I swear my sister is rubbing off on you. We've been at this since midnight."

I laughed and stood on my toes, giving Edward a peck on the cheek. "I offered to go with your mom and Alice, but you insisted on coming shopping with me. So suck it up. We're almost done. I want to get a charm for Alice's bracelet."

"Fine. Find a charm and let's go."

I laughed and walked away to the display case, looking at all the glittery jewelry, slowly making my way down to the display of charms.

"Ah, young love."

"Excuse me?" I looked up at the salesman who'd spoken.

"Love," he smiled, gesturing between me and Edward. "I have a knack for these things."

Edward smiled and wrapped his free arm around my waist.

"Are you shopping for an engagement ring? We have some beautiful rings on sale today, or we can custom design a ring to your specifications," he explained.

"No, thank you," I blushed, embarrassed at his assumption. I loved Edward, and I knew he loved me. We talked about the future often, but I didn't want him to feel pressured by the salesman that he had to buy a ring today. "I need a charm for my best friend."

I began to pull away from Edward to head to the charms and end the conversation, but he held firm and leaned in close, speaking softly in my ear.

"Do you see something you like?"

I looked into his eyes startled to see he was serious. "Now?"

He shrugged and grinned. "Why not now? You know it's going to happen eventually, so why not look for what you want while we're here?"

The salesman took that as his cue to lay out his black velvet pad and set out a couple of flashy diamond rings. I didn't bother looking at the rings and shook my head.

"Not those," I said, facing Edward and ignoring the salesman.

I knew the ring I wanted Edward to propose with. It wasn't big or flashy, but it was beautiful and unique. It was one of a kind and told a story of love that had lasted fifty-seven years until his grandmother passed away. His grandfather died the following month from a broken heart, unable to face life without his other half.

That was the kind of marriage I wanted and knew I would have with Edward: a love to last a lifetime and beyond.

Edward smiled knowingly and leaned down, unmindful of the salesperson standing there, and brushed his lips over mine.

"I knew that's what you'd say, but I wanted you to have the choice," he said softly.

"I made my choice the first time I saw you. I want your grandmother's ring or no ring at all," I stated.

Sobs racked my body as I held my left hand against my heart. I hadn't even known he had the ring with him at school. Edward's parents had asked about the ring when we packed his belongings to ship home. We searched the pockets of every jacket and pants in case he'd hidden it in one of them to keep it safe, to no avail.

Emmett had helped; even going so far as to ask his father to describe the ring so he'd recognize what he was searching for. He claimed Edward had never showed him the ring and he knew nothing about it.

"Why?" I screamed to the empty house. "All this time! He's had your ring and never told me!"

I pressed the ring to my lips, rocking back and forth in my grief. It was like I'd lost Edward all over again. The hole in my heart had been ripped open, and the pain was fresh.

Flashes of memories from our ski trip played in my mind on a loop. I saw Edward's face the night before the accident when he came back to the cabin with dinner. His eyes sparkled with excitement. He was hiding something big from me. He was attentive about my ankle, hinting about special plans for the next night for just the two of us. Making love that night was intense and filled with so much love. He held me that night, hinting at the beginning of our lifetime together.

The flashes of memory changed, and I saw Emmett that night. Before he and Edward left to get food he'd been laughing and joking. When they came back he was quiet and tense. Rosalie was quiet also and watched Emmett's movements cautiously. Living with Emmett now, I recognized the signs. Emmett was enraged about something and barely contained his anger in front of us. Rosalie recognized the signs then and was doing everything to placate him.

The memory shifted again, and I saw Emmett when the authorities questioned him about the accident. He told the police what had happened, stating the facts clearly. He didn't become emotional or overwhelmed with grief at seeing his best friend die. He remained detached.

I picked up the envelope, letting the piece of metal fall into my hand again. I still didn't know what I was looking at, but I did remember the official report. Edward died because the piece that held his boot to his ski broke off and caused the fall that broke his neck.

Cold fear washed over me as everything fell into place.

I reached for the desk phone still lying on the ground and dialed blindly. There was only one person who could help me.

"_Where the hellfire are you? You know I hate spending time with these uppity bitches. You better get your ass here soon or you're going to owe me," she laughed._

_I tried to speak, but it came out a strangled sob instead._

"_Bella? Are you alright? Where are you? It's your snake of a husband, isn't it?" _

I heard the slam of a locker door in the background and her voice shouting and cussing for someone to get out of her way. I took a deep breath and swallowed the bile in my throat.

"I need your help."


	9. Chapter 9

**URGENT: For any readers who have small children, if you don't already, please consider making up a secret password for your children or something similar. Stranger Danger isn't just about strangers. We teach our children not to talk to strangers, not to go with strangers or take things from strangers, but we don't think to warn them from going with a neighbor, a church member or even a relative they know.**

****797,500 children are reported missing each year.**

****203,900 children were the victims of family abductions**

**I know from personal experience. I was kidnapped when I was a child. My situation had a happy ending though that person is still walking free today. For my children's safety growing up we had a password for anyone claiming to have been sent to pick them up from school if we weren't able to call ahead.**

**Thank you MarchHare5 for her wonderful beta skills. **

****Statistics are from National Center for Missing & Exploited Children****

**Disclaimer: SM always has and always will own everything Twilight.**

Ch 8

The bell hanging above the door rang, startling me out of my focused daze. I'd spent the last twenty minutes staring into my coffee cup, waiting for the magic portal to appear and show me my future. I'd even accept the past if it meant I could go back in time and change things so that my dad was still alive and I could have saved Edward from what I now suspected.

Peering carefully around the corner of the booth, I sighed in relief and waved, catching Charlotte's attention when she looked my direction. She walked swiftly over, tossing her purse in the booth as she slid into the seat across from me.

"Oh Bella," she murmured. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She reached across the table to lay her hand over mine where they were clasped tightly on the table to keep their shaking to a minimum. Her expression filled with sorrow as her eyes cataloged the injuries she could readily see: bruised neck, swollen lip, the beginnings of a black eye. None of these were new to me, but I'd always worn enough concealer and foundation to hide the bruises, and ice usually took care of any minor swelling before going out in public. If it didn't, I stayed home until it did.

I shrugged lightly in response. "What was I going to say? By the way, my husband beats me every time the wind blows? That he's responsible for my baby's death because he kicked me in the stomach repeatedly until I lost it? That I stayed with him because I'm too afraid and too much of a coward to leave?"

I paused, raising a shaky hand to wipe away the tears that filled my eyes and lost their battle with gravity, running down my cheeks. "That even if I wasn't, I couldn't have left him because he always has someone watching and threatened to hurt my friend Alice or her family if I reached out to them for help. You're the only real friend I have here, Charlotte." I choked and started crying again, not caring if anyone heard or saw me. "I—I think he also killed Edward."

Charlotte slid out of the booth and came around, sliding in beside me and wrapping her arms around me. I laid my head on her shoulder and completely broke down, sobbing and clinging to her for support.

"Can I get her anything?" I recognized the voice of the waitress speaking softly to Charlotte, who'd served my coffee earlier.

"Just give us a minute, if you don't mind," Charlotte replied.

"Don't you worry 'bout a thing. I'll make sure anyone who comes in is seated on the other side so y'all have some privacy. I hope someone horsewhips whoever did that to her, and he dies a slow, horrible death."

Despite myself, I choked on a laugh and raised my head, using my napkin to wipe my eyes and nose.

"Thank you." I tried to smile, but I'm sure it didn't come across very well.

Charlotte laughed and cocked her head. "You're from the South, aren't you? My guess would be, by your accent… Georgia maybe?"

The waitress nodded and held out her hand, shaking Charlotte's while handing me a small package of tissues from her apron pocket. She offered me a sympathetic smile and nodded.

"Atlanta, born and raised. I moved here to help my sister. Her husband's in the military, stationed overseas, and she has two kids and a baby on the way. If her husband was here, he'd teach your man not to lay his hands on a woman."

"Thank you, but it's not that simple," I said, embarrassed that a complete stranger knew my life was a nightmare. To distract her from continuing I asked, "Could I have a glass of water, please?"

She opened her mouth to say something, but evidently thought better of it, closing it again and simply nodding, offering me a sympathetic smile. "Of course."

She turned away, leaving me and Charlotte alone again. I took a sip of my cooled coffee, avoiding the disgust I was sure I'd see on Charlotte's face after my confession. She was so confident and strong, she'd never let someone do to her what I'd allowed Emmett to do to me. I looked out the window beside me, sweeping over the parking lot, looking for any familiar vehicle. Not seeing any gave me a sense of relief that James had told me the truth.

I'd begged Charlotte to stay at the gym, and I would talk to her there. I was terrified of staying in the house in case Emmett came home unexpected. I had no way of knowing where he was meeting Royce or how long he'd be gone. I'd dressed in a hurry, and jumping into my car I'd backed swiftly out of the garage, squealing tires on the pavement when I'd thrown the car in gear and shot down the street away from the house.

I hadn't even gotten a block away before a large SUV raced up from behind me to pass and cut me off, forcing me to stop. My heart leaped into my throat when I saw James come around the back from the driver's side and walk over to my car. I hit the door locks, trembling when he stood outside my window.

"Mrs. McCarty, roll down the window, please," he ordered. He looked around, waiting for me to comply, and then tapped on the glass with his knuckles. "Now, please."

Swallowing, I shook my head at him and fumbled for the gearshift to put the car in reverse and try to get away again.

"Bellybean, I wouldn't do that if I were you. If you're planning to run, this is probably your best shot. You're lucky I'm the one watching you today and not someone else. They wouldn't hesitate to yank you out of that car and call Emmett."

I closed my eyes and prayed I was doing the right thing by trusting him, but he'd called me Bellybean twice now. The only person who could have told him to call me Bellybean died over two years ago. James worked for Emmett, and I had absolutely no reason to trust him, but knowing to use that name was why I would—to a point.

Bellybean was a secret between my dad and me when I was a kid. Being Chief of Police, he was aware of the dangers in the world better than most people. Even though we lived in a small town where most people knew each other, he'd always stressed diligence and "stranger danger". We had a secret password in case anyone tried to pick me up from school or the park in his place that hadn't been preplanned.

It had only been used twice in my life: once, to test that I remembered the rule. He'd sent a police officer to pick me up from school that I'd only met twice before. I was seven years old and confused my teacher when I refused to leave with him, because he didn't know the secret password. My dad had been proud that I remembered and wasn't swayed by the uniform to automatically believe my dad had sent him. Our principal called a special assembly a week later for my dad to teach "stranger danger" to my whole school. It was embarrassing, but my dad said if it saved one child it was worth whatever embarrassment I felt. The second time was when his friend Harry had a heart attack on their fishing trip. He had Esme pick me up from cheerleading practice since he was going to be staying at the hospital.

It didn't make any sense, and I didn't know how he knew; maybe this was my dad's way of answering my prayer. Either way, I unlocked the door, which he opened. He squatted down beside me and studied my appearance, mumbling something under his breath before blowing out a heavy breath.

"Do you have a plan?" he asked.

"No, I—" I sniffed and started crying again. I may trust him, but I didn't know how _much_ I could trust him. "I have to leave before he makes me have another baby." I looked him in the eye and let him see the terror I felt. "I can't lose another baby because of him. Please—" I begged.

He nodded solemnly and reached for my face, causing me to flinch and pull away on instinct. His eyes hardened in response. "Son of a bitch will rot, I swear." He stood and looked around again, clenching and unclenching his fists. "Tell me you have someone you can call for help that Emmett wouldn't know or suspect."

"Yes. Char—a friend from yoga class." I started to tell him who I was meeting, but thought twice about it in case I was putting my trust in the wrong person.

"Good. Don't meet her," he paused and gave me a quizzing look to which I nodded, confirming my friend was female, "anywhere you would normally go." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a cell phone, handing it to me. "Use this to call her and have her meet you at Pocco's Diner. It's a little hole-in-the-wall dive four blocks past your gym. Park in back, away from the street just to be safe." He pulled out his wallet and handed me several hundred dollar bills. "Don't use any of your cards from here on, only cash. Hang on to that phone, and when it's safe I'll let you know. Don't contact anyone Emmett would know about. Understand?"

I nodded, still not really understanding, but grateful for any advice in getting away from Emmett.

Charlotte brought me back to the present, squeezing my hand in comfort. I shook my head to rid my thoughts of the puzzle that surrounded James and noticed she was on her phone, frowning. After a moment, she started talking.

"Change your damn ringtone, you know I hate the friggin' song," she huffed. "Look, since you can't be bothered to answer your phone, call me the second you get this message. I'm sending a friend who needs a safe place to stay for a while. She'll be there in a couple of days tops. Love you." She hung up and smiled. "Okay, that's all settled. Now I just need to give you directions."

I held up my hand to stop her, confused at what she was talking about. "Wait. What's settled? Directions where?"

"Texas, of course. That monster you're married to will never suspect you of going there. Don't worry about a thing. My brother may be a pain in _my _ass, but he really does have a heart of gold. He's ex-military and runs my parents' ranch since Dad died and Mom can't run it by herself."

I shook my head and sat up straight, trying to convey independence and confidence I didn't really feel. "Charlotte, I can't impose on your brother. He doesn't know me and I can't dump my problems on him. I was going to just drive and get a hotel wherever I stop until I figure out what to do next. I just didn't want to leave without saying good-bye." Tears welled up in my eyes again as I struggled to keep my composure. "I'm truly grateful that I met you. Your friendship means so much more to me than you could know. Other than Alice, I've never had a closer friend."

She waved her hand in front of her face, batting away my words. "Baloney, that's what friends are for, and forget this bullshit about hiding out in hotels. My parents' ranch is remote, and everyone who works on it has been with my family for years. You'll be safe, and no one will bother you. My uncle is an attorney, and I'm sure he'll be able to help you divorce that prick you're married to and take him for everything he's worth."

She squeezed my hand and hugged me again. "Please, Bella, don't be too proud to take help when it's offered," she admonished gently. "I know you're scared. If it helps, look at it this way. You'd be doing me a huge favor. I worry about my mom and how she's doing since Dad died and Peter and I moved up here."

"My brother isn't exactly a warm and fuzzy kind of guy." She made air quotes with her hands and rolled her eyes. Her voice dropped several octaves and took on a decidedly heavier Southern accent. "He doesn't _do_ emotions."

In spite of everything, I laughed, earning a grin from Charlotte in return. I sighed, knowing her solution was the best and safest option for me. No one in Chicago knew anything about our friendship; she was safe, and Emmett wouldn't know where to begin looking for me.

"Alright, I guess I'm going to Texas."

Brushing away my objection, she paid for my coffee, and walked me out to her car. She convinced me it was safer to take hers since Emmett could report mine stolen to get the police involved in hunting me down. One of the bodyguards on Peter's staff was sitting in the vehicle next to it, waiting to take her home so she wouldn't be stranded.

After opening the door, I turned back to her and embraced her, clinging tightly. "I can't thank you enough for this. I swear I'll find a way to repay you when I get settled."

"Don't worry about it. I have a feeling Brenham is going to be a new start for you." She smiled. "Peter and I will be down in a couple of months for Christmas, and I'll see you then. If you need anything, anything at all, you call me. Understand?"

I nodded. "I promise."

She pushed my hair back, giving me a final hug. "And tell Jasper I said for him to take good care of you, or I'll fly down early and kick his ass."

**A/N: If anyone can't guess by that last line, this is really a Jasper/Bella fic.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'd like to give a warm welcome to all my new readers who've put me on their alerts here and at and have sent reviews. **

**Thanks always to MarchHare5 for diligently putting my commas where they go and fixing my grammar. Thanks also to luvrofink, closettwighliter and seraphinasoap for prereading and giving me suggestions.**

**I'm donating a o/s for Fandom for No Kid Hungry which is raising money for children right here in the USA that don't have enough food to eat. Please consider donating as little as $10 to receive a compilation of stories from some really great writers. I have an idea I'm playing around with, but if there's an outtake from one of my stories or something you'd love to read let me know.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight and her characters. I just play with them because it's fun.**

Bella POV

"_You have arrived at your destination."_

I stared at the GPS indicator and looked out the windows on both sides. "But there's nothing here," I argued with the computerized voice. "It's a field."

I dropped my head back against the headrest. Tears of frustration and weariness slipped out of the corners of my eyes. I'd driven straight through since leaving the diner in Chicago, only stopping at fast food restaurants to eat and use the bathroom. When I couldn't drive any longer I pulled into twenty-four-hour pharmacies or grocery stores and slept for short periods of time, too afraid to check into a hotel for fear Emmett would find me. I was dirty, hungry, thirsty, scared and just plain exhausted. I'd backtracked my directions three times since driving through Brenham and kept coming back to the same field. There was nothing here but grass, a few trees and cows.

The stress of the last couple of days and lack of sleep were getting to me. The air inside the car became stifling, and I felt like a weight was sitting on my chest. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe and scrambled for the door handle, shoving the door open, only to choke when I realized the seatbelt was still fastened. Unlocking it, I practically fell out of the car in my haste. I leaned against the car to get my bearings, taking several deep breaths to calm myself before standing up straight, once more under control. I stepped away from the car, pulling my sunglasses off the top of my head and settling them over my eyes and looked at the scenery around me for any sign of life—of the two-legged variety.

"You got away from Emmett. He doesn't know where you are. That's the important thing. You'll be okay," I mumbled, giving myself another pep talk to keep the tears at bay. "Worst case, you drive back into town, get a bite to eat and call Charlotte."

I reached into the car for the opened water bottle in the center console. Standing again, I scanned my surroundings in case I missed the house previously, but was met with only nature. It really was beautiful here. If I put aside my reason for being parked on a gravel road in the middle of nowhere I could appreciate it more. Even though it was October, the sun was bright and warm on my face, and flowers were scattered among the tall grass along the sides of the road. Beyond the wire fence the sweeping green carpet of grass dipped and rose over the landscape, only broken up by the occasional large trees and what appeared to be a miniature lake in the distance.

I took a sip of my water and tugged at my scarf, unwinding it from my neck. In Chicago, fall was ending and winter was just around the corner. This place hadn't even begun to think of fall.

"Can I help you?"

I spun around, startled by the deep voice breaking the silence behind me. The glare of the sun hit my eyes, blinding me momentarily. When I could see again, I stumbled back against the car and screamed.

Large black eyes stared at me, whether in boredom or animosity I couldn't begin to guess, but I chose to err on the side of caution and took another step away. Long, reddish-brown hair hung over his forehead and down his neck. He was so tall I had to look up, and I could sense the power held tightly under control in the quivering of his shoulders.

"You're not from around here. It's a horse." His lip quirked slightly, and he leaned forward patting the neck of his companion. "Don't worry, boy, she's just some city girl who obviously took a wrong turn. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Straining my neck to look even higher, the sun blinded me again until he shifted to the side, blocking the worst of the glare and throwing me into the shade of his very large shadow. I swallowed nervously and an image of one of Charlie's old Western heroes came to mind. From my vantage point my brain took in his appearance, which did nothing to dispel the comparison in my imagination. Leather leggings covered faded denim and encased long legs. A blue cotton shirt was tucked into the waistband and spread across wide shoulders. I couldn't tell what color his eyes were, shaded by his wide brimmed hat, but it wouldn't have mattered.

The man was beautiful. He had a firm, square jaw covered in a few days' growth of beard, an aquiline nose and high cheekbones. His piercing eyes stared back at me.

My jaw dropped before I could stop it, and my eyes narrowed in indignation. How dare he assume anything about me! He didn't know me. I'd certainly done nothing to hurt his horse's feelings.

"I know what a horse is," I snapped. "I also know what a jackass is." I glared at him, making sure I got my point across. "I didn't do anything to you or your precious horse. The GPS in my car is acting up, and it led me here instead of where I needed to go. If you'll excuse me, I'll just turn around and drive back into town and ask someone for directions."

I kept my chin firmly in the air and turned toward my car, only to feel warm breath on my neck when he nudged his horse in my direction. I turned back, leaning away from the foul breath blowing on me and glared at him.

"Well, I'm someone, so you might as well ask me. I was born and raised here, so I know every street, road and trail there is. I also know most people. So who you lookin' for?"

With my teeth clenched, I swallowed my annoyance. If he did know Charlotte's family then he'd be saving me the trip back into town. It really was too hot to wear my scarf, and the last thing I needed was to draw attention to myself.

"I'm looking for the Whitlocks'," I began explaining. "Charlotte—"

He made a clicking noise with his tongue and made his horse back up a few steps, then looked at the back of my car. I sensed a shift in his demeanor—not that it had been very friendly before—but now he seemed almost hostile. His jaw tensed when he turned back to look at me again.

"You fucking people just can't leave us alone can you?" My mouth gaped at the unexpected venom he spat at me. "I told her that's what happens when you marry a damn politician. Snakes only attract more snakes. She should have kept her butt home instead of falling for that smooth-talking Yankee when he crossed her path. If I'd been here, I would have put a stop to it."

He paused long enough to tilt his hat back from his forehead, removing the shadow that had covered his eyes, and I was right: his eyes were just as beautiful as the rest of his physical appearance. "Now why don't you just get back in your car, go back the way you came and tell your boss for the last time we're not talkin'. And leave my sister in peace, or I'll have something to say about it."

Stormy blue eyes flashed with anger and disgust and it clicked—Jasper.

Well, something Charlotte had gotten wrong is that her brother definitely did _do_ emotion.

I had no idea what I'd done to make him angry. All I knew was I had to get away before her brother took his anger out on me. The set of his jaw reminded me too much of Emmett and the way he'd handled his anger with his fists. I swallowed my quickly rising fear and spun around, mumbling a quick apology and climbed back in the car quickly. Tears blurred my vision, and my hand shook as I grasped the key, knocking it to the floor from where it had been dangling in the ignition. I leaned down, fumbling for the keys beneath my feet, causing my sunglasses to slip down my nose, so I yanked them off and threw them in the passenger seat.

"Aw, hell!" I heard him grumble through the open door just as my fingers brushed against my keys. My hand shook as I worked to get them back into the ignition and started the car. "Shit, I need to call you back." I head the leather of his saddle creak like he was shifting in his seat. "Ma'am?"

I grabbed the door, intending to close it only to be met with resistance. I looked up and saw him standing beside me, holding the door open. He propped one arm on the top of the door, the other on the hood of the car, and leaned in. I tensed, lowering my head so my hair hid my face, and tried to make myself smaller, waiting for him to do something. The sound of him blowing out his breath startled me, and I flinched.

"Son of a bitch," he swore. "Ma'am, would your name happen to be Bella McCarthy?"

I pulled my lower lip between my teeth and debated how to answer. Right now he was guessing and didn't know for certain. Deciding it would be better for me if he didn't know, since I was leaving anyway, I shook my head. "Please move so I can close the door. I'm leaving like you asked. I won't bother you again," I begged softly.

Instead of letting go, he blew out another breath and crouched down beside the car, pulling his hat off to hang it on his knee. I watched him nervously through the curtain of my hair while he watched me, waiting for me to acknowledge him. I kept my head down and clenched the keys tightly in my fists. I wouldn't let him take away my only mode of escape.

"Ma'am, can you answer me please?" His voice was laced with impatience which was mirrored in his actions. He scratched harshly at his jaw and dragged his fingers through his brown hair. "At least have the courtesy to acknowledge me."

I couldn't stop my whimper when his hand rose, grasping my chin and turned my face toward him. His eyes widened and then narrowed in anger as his fingertips brushed over the bruise around my eye. I grabbed for my forgotten sunglasses and tried to put them on again, only to have him gently take them from me, capturing my gaze with his.

"You're Bella," he said with a nod. His expression filled with remorse, but I didn't sense pity coming from him. "I'm really sorry about my behavior, ma'am. My only explanation is I'm tired and dirty, and I thought you were someone else, not that it's really a good excuse, either, but that's all I've got." He pointed at the road in front of me and offered me an apologetic grimace. "If you'll just keep driving up this road another mile, you'll see the house. This road dead-end's at the gate. I'll be right beside you to open the gate."

I shook my head, refusing to go anywhere with him. I swallowed, pulling my tattered pride back together and attempting to sound firm. "No, thank you. I was only stopping out of courtesy to Charlotte. I really have to be going, if you'll excuse me."

He hung his head and mumbled, swearing again before looking at me again. "Bella, I swear on my father's grave you're safe here. I can't apologize enough for being such a bastard to you. I know I scared you, but please come up to the house, meet my momma. I promise to keep my distance, and I won't bother you any. I'm usually busy with everything and don't spend much time around the house." He stood, brushing his hat against his thigh, and stepped back, freeing the door so I could close it if I chose.

I closed my eyes, the sting of tears threatening to overwhelm me. Logically, I knew all I had to do was put the key back in the ignition and drive away, but all I kept seeing was Emmett. Any time I tried to get away or hide from him the beatings were worse and that knowledge paralyzed me.

I was so very tired and didn't know what to do anymore.

"Please, Bella, stay…just for the night. Have some dinner, sleep, and if you want to leave again in the morning no one will stop you."

I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed I wasn't making another mistake in my long list of mistakes. Opening my eyes, I wiped at the moisture under my eyes and cleared my throat.

"Alright, one night."

**End Note: I was blown away by how many readers sent pm's and reviews on the last chapter saying they're die-hard E/B fans, but were still reading this story AND willing to continue even though it's really a Jasper/Bella story. I couldn't you were still reading after the first chapter/one-shot since Emmett murdered Edward so it was pretty obvious this wouldn't be an E/B story. **

**I am humbled and blessed that y'all stayed and gave this a shot. I hope I help you fall in love with Jasper just a little bit. There really are some great J/B stories out there. **

**I'm going to owe Emmett a good guy/hero story after this is finished.**

**I'm glad that James' character is going over well with everyone. There's a reason for his actions. It's not easy to write a good suspense if you know from the first chapter who the heroes and villains are.**


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Thank you to all my readers who've been so very patient with me while my kids completely took over my life. In the past year we've married off two daughters and moved our youngest daughter to college this past week. I'm exhausted and poor. lol!**_

_**For those of you who also read Creating a Mate, never fear. I'm working on the next chapter and should have it ready in a week.**_

_**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. **_

_**Thank you to my wonderful beta, MarchHare5 and my prereader, Seraphslastkiss. **_

_**Song inspiration: Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd**_

Ch 10

Jasper's POV

The air was warm and humid, in the high 80s, which was the first real break we'd had from the heat of a summer that refused to let go of Texas, thanks to the storm that rolled through yesterday afternoon. The storm was the reason I'd spent last night and this morning hunkered down in a shack at the west end of our property, praying the structure held as wind, rain and hail battered against the creaking walls.

After the storm broke up enough to leave the shack, I found a tree that had fallen over a section of fence during the storm. The fencing needed immediate, temporary repairs to keep our cattle from wandering onto our neighbor's place. Old Man Banner had pumpkins planted in that field ready to harvest—if they weren't all destroyed by the storm—for the fall festival coming up in two weeks.

I made a mental note to call later today to offer whatever help was needed to clean up from the storm. He was counting on a good harvest and successful festival to help cushion the blow last year's wildfire had done to his Christmas tree farm. If it didn't, then I guess I would be leasing more land we didn't need to help him out—Mom would insist on it. Mr. Banner was too proud to take charity and too stubborn to sell. His wife and son were buried on that land, and he was determined to be buried beside them.

I was dead dog-tired, hungry and in desperate need of a good, hot shower. I couldn't decide which I wanted more: sleep, food or the shower. Knowing my mother, the shower would be demanded before she'd allow me to plant my boots under her kitchen table, and the same would apply to her freshly laundered bedding. Sunday afternoon she'd told me to strip the sheets from my bed so she could wash and hang them on the line outside.

It made me smile, thinking about my mother's insistence in continuing to use a clothesline to hang sheets and blankets when she had a brand new, top-of-the-line washer and dryer in the house. She said it reminded her of the past when she and Dad were struggling to keep food on the table, having more love than money in those days. And a dryer couldn't mimic the scent and feel of sun-dried sheets.

Reaching to the clip on my belt, I pulled out my cell phone and turned it back on. I'd turned it off while I'd been stuck at the shack since there'd been no way to charge the battery. I frowned, seeing several missed calls and messages from Charlotte and my mother. I rubbed my forehead and sighed tiredly as my mind conjured all kinds of problems waiting for me when I got home. I'd sent a text message to Mom when the storm hit, letting her know where I was so she didn't worry.

If Mom and Charlotte were both trying to reach me, then that meant there was trouble—probably due to that damn Yankee she'd married. I didn't have anything personal against my brother-in-law; he was actually pretty decent for a Yank. My animosity was based purely on principle. Peter was a politician, and he'd married my sister while I was around the world fighting for democracy and apple pie without so much as a thought of waiting to ask permission. Being the man of the family since our father died six years ago and as Charlotte's older brother, I should have been given the opportunity to see if Peter was worthy of my only baby sister, and I should have been allowed to walk her down the aisle once he proved he deserved her.

Those were two strikes against him in my book. Charlotte claimed it was love at first sight for both of them, and since that damn Yankee was only passing through on his way back to Chicago, they'd had a quick wedding with little fuss. That had stirred up a hornet's nest of speculation by locals, reporters and political opponents alike for the sense of urgency. Of course it was almost three years before Charlotte delivered my niece and two nephews, but that hadn't stopped them from looking for something that didn't exist.

The last time Charlotte and my mom had urgently tried to reach me it was to warn me of a reporter in town digging for dirt on the family to aid a smear campaign by Peter's opponent during his bid for mayor in Chicago. The police chief had very nicely advised the reporter, holding a bag of ice to his jaw, to leave, while I'd sat in a jail cell overnight to cool off. It hadn't stopped others from coming to town; they were just more subtle when asking their questions, though anyone with a lick o' sense could tell what they were doing.

Fortunately our family had been around for three generations and had well-established roots in the community. There were rules about gossip in the South that you didn't break: you didn't air dirty laundry in public, and you most certainly didn't share it with strangers sticking their nose where it didn't belong.

It also meant the police chief didn't file an official report every time someone left town with a black eye or bloody lip. The hospitality of the jail cell was to keep up appearances that my cousin was doing his job and nepotism wasn't an issue. I knew if I crossed the line, Felix or the prosecutor, my father's brother, would throw the book at me and I'd get a lot more than a slap on the wrist.

I nudged the flanks of my horse, urging him to a faster gait, anxious to get home and the disgruntled shake of DP's head conveyed his own impatience to be home. The battery on my cell was low, and there was no point wasting it listening to messages I couldn't do anything about until I got home anyway. Once I was home I'd attack head-on whatever new problem my sister's marriage had caused.

"Guess this means a trip into town before I get to eat or any sleep," I grumbled. "I pity the idiot that picked today of all days to cross me, because I'm in no mood for bullshit."

I arched my back, rolling my neck to work out the kinks from the cot I'd slept on, sighing in relief when I rounded the last curve in the road, knowing home was only a few minutes away. A Mercedes SUV was parked on the side of the road that led to the house, and a woman was standing beside it with her back to me. I let out a low whistle at the sight and shook my head to clear the tired fog in my brain. She was obviously lost and a long way from home if her clothing was anything to go by. A long-sleeved sweater dress hugged her body, showing off her curves and cupping the finest ass I'd ever seen, and high-heeled fuck-me boots wrapped around her calves, leaving her creamy thighs on display. The sun highlighted the deep red tint in her long, brown hair, giving it the appearance of polished mahogany.

I hadn't even seen her face yet, but I'd bet my truck she was drop-dead gorgeous.

I nudged DP closer and cleared my throat.

"Can I help you?

She spun around, startled by my approach. Her high-pitched screech startled DP in return, and his muscles twitched uneasily beneath me. Sunglasses hid her eyes, but the sight of her full, red lips and the deep flush that stained her high cheekbones scrambled my brain, and instead of apologizing for scaring her, I blurted out the first thought in my head.

"You're not from around here. It's a horse." I gave her my best smile to ease her fear and leaned forward, patting DP's neck to settle him. "Don't worry, boy, she's just some city girl who obviously took a wrong turn. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"I know what a horse is. I also know what a jackass is. I didn't do anything to you or your precious horse," she snapped.

I took a mental step back from her open hostility. The woman may have the face of an angel, but her attitude was anything but. She continued her tirade, complaining about the GPS in her car, which any fool could tell you didn't always give you the whole picture, and two-lane country roads that didn't really lead anywhere special weren't high on the list of priorities for accuracy.

She spun on her high-heeled boot, stomping away from me, so I walked DP a few steps closer to catch up. I was being rude, teasing a total stranger for being lost instead of using the manners my momma drilled into my head. It wasn't her fault her GPS couldn't find its way out of a paperbag without landmarks to go by. If I didn't help her, she'd probably just end up right back here or stranded on some other country road.

"Well, I'm someone, so you might as well ask me. I was born and raised here, so I know every street, road and trail there is. I also know most people. So who you lookin' for?"

As soon as she said she was looking for my family and mentioned my sister I knew she was the trouble Mom and Charlotte were trying to reach me about. I backed up to read her license plate just to be sure I wasn't jumping to conclusions, but the Illinois plates confirmed my suspicions. Whoever she worked for was smart, sending a woman to do the digging. I had no compunction about laying a man out for talking trash about my family, but nothing and no one could ever make me hit a woman, and that just pissed me off even more.

All I had were words, so she better take a hint and get the hell out of here fast. Manners be damned. Exhaustion and anger fueled my words, not stopping to consider that bad-mouthing my brother-in-law and blaming him wasn't the smartest thing to do, but right now I couldn't find it in me to give a damn.

The leather reins in my grip creaked as I wished Peter was here so I could hit him just once for all the headache he caused. My mom and sister would be pissed, but I thought it might just be worth it. I was so busy yelling it took me a second to realize my phone was vibrating on my hip. I grabbed it and brought it to my ear, watching with satisfaction as the woman spun on her heel to take my advice and leave town.

"What?" I snapped, not having taken the time to see who called.

"It's about damn time you answered your phone, Jasper! Where the hell have you been? I swear to god, if you've been with that slut again when I needed you I'll get Daddy's shotgun and—"

"Not now, Char. I'm tired and dirty and hungry. I'm in no mood. On top of that, I'm having to deal with another one of your husband's problems snooping around, but don't worry. She's leaving."

"Stop her! I swear, if you weren't my brother, I'd call you a bastard and a son of a bitch! That's Bella! If you'd answer your damn phone you'd know that!" Charlotte screamed at me.

I racked my brain trying to remember who the hell Bellawas when it all clicked in place. Bella was the first real friend my sister had made since moving to Chicago. Charlotte had mentioned several times over the past year that she was worried about her friend since she'd lost her baby and she suspected her husband was abusing her friend.

Well, didn't I feel like the biggest pile of steamin' shit. I'd just yelled at an innocent woman. "Aw, hell," I snarled, angry at myself. I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my fingers hard against my forehead, letting the shame of my actions wash over me. I was going to have to do a lot of groveling and begging to apologize for my words. My sister was right; I was a bastard.

I shook my head, squaring my shoulders to take the tongue-lashing I deserved when I realized she was already in her car. "Shit, I need to call you back." I hung up my phone, cutting off Charlotte's rant mid-sentence, and quickly climbed out of my saddle and strode over to the vehicle.

Hearing her sobs coming from the opened door just made me feel lower than a snake's belly in a drainage ditch.

"Ma'am?"

She reached for the door handle to shut me out, and my hand flew up automatically to stop her. I owed her the biggest apology, and she had to be here for a reason. I couldn't just let her drive off. If what Charlotte suspected about her friend's husband abusing her was true, then she'd probably left the bastard and had come here looking for somewhere safe to hide and figure out her next step.

Leaning in to talk to her, I could feel the tension radiating from the stiff set of her shoulders. I blew out my breath, preparing to offer an apology for my behavior and saw her flinch, which only made me feel even worse.

"Son of a bitch," I grumbled under my breath. I needed to start over and try to make up for being a—she'd called me a jackass, and that's exactly what I was. "Ma'am, would your name happen to be Bella McCarthy?"

She shook her head, but I knew she was lying, not that I'd call her out on it or anything. I'd done enough to her already.

Her voice was barely above a whisper, and I strained to hear her. "Please move so I can close the door. I'm leaving like you asked. I won't bother you again."

Her keys were clutched in her pale hands and shook with how tightly she was holding them; I felt even worse, if that was possible, that she was afraid of me. I wasn't doing anything to dissuade her of her low opinion of me by blocking her door and invading her space, so I lowered myself to a crouch and took off my hat to appear less threatening.

"Ma'am, can you answer me please?" I shifted uncomfortably while trying to figure out what I could say or do to reassure her. It didn't help my cause that she wouldn't even look me in the eye to see my regret. "At least have the courtesy to acknowledge me." I gently tugged on her chin and turned her head so she'd at least look at me, and I felt like I'd been punched in the gut.

There was no denying Bella was a beautiful woman, but the fear reflected in her soft brown eyes that had seen too much pain, along with the stain of purple around the right one, filled me with rage to tear apart whatever spawn of Satan that had dared to lay a hand on this angel. I hadn't felt this kind of fury since my time overseas, fighting to save my friend in an unwinnable battle.

Her eyes widened even more when I traced the outline of the bruise that marred her delicate features, and I carefully took the sunglasses from her that she'd grabbed to hide from me. That protective instinct that all Whitlock men seemed to be born with sparked and caught flame deep in my gut as I held her gaze.

She was terrified, but she was here, which meant deep inside beneath whatever ugliness she'd been living, her spirit was still intact. She just needed a chance to heal and be made whole again. The bastard who'd raised his hand to her hadn't won, hadn't broken her.

It would take more than words to make her believe I was sorry for yelling at her and adding to her fear. She'd probably heard excuses from her husband every time he abused her. She wouldn't trust words easily given unless I backed them up with actions. The best I could do was to apologize and promise to stay away from her so she would hopefully still take the offer Charlotte had obviously made of staying at our home.

"Bella, I swear on my father's grave you're safe here. I can't apologize enough for being such a bastard to you. I know I scared you, but please come up to the house, meet my momma. I promise to keep my distance, and I won't bother you. I'm usually busy with everything and don't spend much time around the house."

The last part was a lie since I lived in the house, but there was a lumpy cot in the barn we used when a horse had a bad night or was foaling that I would gladly use as long as she was willing to stay. I stood and stepped away from her car so she could shut me out now if she wanted. I wouldn't pressure her to stay, but I hoped she'd know the offer was sincere.

"Please, Bella, stay…just for the night. Have some dinner, sleep, and if you want to leave again in the morning no one will stop you." I waited for her answer, already working out my next argument if she didn't agree. If need be, I'd call my mother and let her persuade Bella to stay. No one said "no" to Maria Whitlock.

"Alright, one night."

_**A/N: I know this chapter was mainly a recap, but since it's been a few months since I've posted I thought this would help along with getting a good insight into Jasper's character. He's not perfect and has a quick temper, but under the gruff exterior is the true heart of a Southern gentleman. **_

_**Next chapter will move the story along (and won't be months in the making).**_

_**Take care! Mic**_


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm at the Texas Book Festival in Austin, Texas this weekend with TWCS Publishing House. It's been an event-filled weekend getting to meet other wonderful writers face-to-face and the editors I work with on my novels. If you're in the area please come by and visit. Thank you to everyone who came out to make this day such a great success for everyone.**

**Thanks to MarchHare5 for her awesome beta skills. I appreciate all you do for me.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight. I own a twisted imagination.**

Ch 11

Bella POV

The sound of a door slamming woke me, and I bolted upright, terrified that Emmett was home and would catch me in bed. Lying in bed was too vulnerable of a position to be in with my husband. Depending on his mood or if he were coming from Rosalie's, it would lead to sex or a beating. Neither prospect was good, but I'd rather take the beating over sex any day. Emmett had a cruel streak when it came to sex and could make it drag out forever, whereas the beating, once I learned to quit fighting back or trying to defend myself, would end quickly. A few slaps, punches and kicks, strangle me until I passed out, and it would be over. I couldn't win anyway, and fighting him only encouraged him and prolonged my inevitable defeat.

It took a moment for my heart to stop pounding and reality to surface once I was able to focus on the unfamiliar room. Taking a deep breath to calm my fluttering heart, I hugged the pillow to my chest. The scent of sunshine coming from the fabric solidified the knowledge that I was far from home and safe from Emmett.

Mrs. Whitlock had directed me upstairs to freshen up when I arrived, and I'd only meant to lie back for a moment to stretch my spine. I knew it was presumptuous of me to lie down on a stranger's bed, but my back was tight and painful from driving for so long. I wasn't used to Charlotte's SUV and never got the seat adjusted right. Hopefully I hadn't been asleep long, and she wouldn't think I was being rude or nosey.

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment when I realized someone had removed my boots and covered me with a quilt. Obviously I'd been caught in my nap. Sighing, knowing I was on a real losing streak when it came to Charlotte's family and first impressions, I folded the quilt and straightened the bedspread back up. I picked up my boots from the floor and took a moment to take in my surroundings. I hadn't paid any attention to the room when I first came in.

The room was decorated simply in navy and red. Navy curtains hung in the windows framing the white wood blinds that allowed light to filter into the room. Rustic oak furniture with black iron accents made up the bed, bedside table and dresser. A desk and an entertainment center that housed a television, Blu-ray player and a gaming system completed the room. On the wall, beside the dresser, hung a painting of a single large tree in a field with a stream running beneath the shade of its long branches. A young boy propped against the tree held a cane fishing pole. His straw hat pulled down over his face gave him the appearance of having fallen asleep while he waited for the fish to bite.

I smiled at the sense of peace the subject must have felt and wondered if such a peaceful setting really existed somewhere in the world.

There were several framed photographs on the wall over the desk, and curiosity motivated me to get a closer look. A few depicted scenes of a working ranch with men in denim shirts and dusty jeans, boots and cowboy hats. The one that captured my attention, though, showed several cowboys leaning or sitting on a tall, wooden fence while another cowboy was hanging onto a horse that didn't appear happy to have a man on its back. The rider had lost his hat, which was trampled beneath the horse's hooves, and the man was fighting for control of the large, angry animal. The moment caught by the photographer's camera left the observer wondering who'd finally won the battle. There were other photos of men dressed in military garb in the desert as well, and I was leaning in to get a closer look when a soft knock at the door drew my attention away.

The door opened, and Mrs. Whitlock stuck her head in. It surprised me how young she looked. You'd never guess Charlotte had recently made her a grandmother of triplets. She was tall enough to be a model and had the figure and looks to go with it. Her brown hair was pulled up in a clip to keep it out of her face, and she was dressed simply in jeans, t-shirt and sneakers, adding to her youthful appearance. She looked first toward the bed then around the room until her eyes landed on me.

"Oh, you're awake! I was beginning to think you weren't ever going to wake up." Smiling, she stepped inside and set the stack of clothes in her arms on the corner of the bed. "You've been asleep for almost twenty-four hours, but you look much better than you did when you got here. I imagine you must've been exhausted, what with everything you've been through and driving all the way here by yourself."

Her eyes paused momentarily on my neck, and her lips thinned. Embarrassment and shame washed over me, and my hands instinctively went to cover the bruises on my neck and face.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. I know it was really rude of me, but I was having a spasm in my back and just wanted to stretch it out for a moment." I rushed to apologize, dropping my boots so I could straighten my rumpled dress and rake my fingers through my hair uselessly with the other. "I had no idea I'd slept for so long. Please forgive me. I'm not normally like this I promise."

I shook my head, utterly defeated and knowing there wasn't a good excuse for my unconscionable behavior. "I'm so sorry." I grabbed up my boots again and sat on the desk chair to put them on. "I should really be going now."

I fought the useless tears that burned the back of my eyes, while I made a mental list in my head of what I would need to buy at the grocery store before leaving Brenham and how much money I still had on me from James. I only had about three hundred sixty dollars left, so I needed to figure out how to find a job soon before it was completely gone.

Mrs. Whitlock laid her hand on mine, stilling my trembling fingers from pulling up the zipper on my boot, making me look up into her kind blue eyes. "Bella, I wasn't suggesting you were imposing or that I wanted you to leave," she admonished gently.

"I was worried about you when you didn't come back down yesterday and came up to check on you. I saw you sleeping and not to be insensitive, but you looked like you really needed it." She grimaced. "I took your boots off and covered you with the quilt so you'd be more comfortable. I figured I'd just let you sleep until you were ready to wake up on your own. Jasper said he didn't mind either and to let you stay."

Her comment about gaining Jasper's permission to let me stay reminded me of the rocky introduction I'd had with him. I would have to be sure I didn't do anything to upset him or make him angry again. Charlotte was my friend and had invited me here, but I knew blood was thicker than water when it came right down to it. If Jasper or her mother wanted me to leave then I'd have to go.

"You made my baby girl's life a little easier and less lonely, so that makes you just a good as family so I don't wanna hear any more of this nonsense about leaving." She laid her hand on mine and squeezed it reassuringly, smiling. "And my name is Maria. My mother-in-law is Mrs. Whitlock, at least on the days she remembers. She was married to Earl Whitlock for forty-three years before he died of a heart attack back in 1990."

She sat back on the bed and faced me, bracing her hands on her knees. Her demeanor shifted, taking on a more serious stance. "It's only fair to warn you about some of the stuff you may hear her say. You're Charlotte's friend, and she trusts you. She wouldn't have sent you here if she didn't. Before the dementia my mother-in-law knew what secrets to keep, but the last couple of years her mind has started wandering and…well, there's just no telling what she'll say. All we ask is that you never repeat anything outside the family."

"I'd never do anything to betray Charlotte's trust or yours either for that matter," I rushed to assure her. "Charlotte's friendship means as much to me if not more, because she's all I have. Hers the only friend I have that my husband doesn't know about so he couldn't destroy it or take it away from me."

"Thank you. It's just those damn vultures are always looking for some sort of dirt to hurt my son-in-law's career. I happen to like Peter. He's a good man, and he makes my daughter happy. I don't know why anyone would care today what sixty-year-old skeletons might shake loose from the family tree, but I guess a person can twist anything, given the motivation. None of it defines our family or Peter's ability to lead." She slapped her hands on her thighs and stood. "Suffice it to say, that old woman was a real hell-raiser in her youth. She caused quite a scandal when she ran off to marry a 'nobody hick from the sticks.' I blame her genetics for my own kids' stubborn wild streaks."

Listening to her talk, I remembered the frail, elderly woman I'd met when I arrived. She'd been dressed in a bright pink housecoat and slippers, and her white hair had hung in a braid over her shoulder. She'd been sitting in an overstuffed chair with her feet up on a matching ottoman, watching old game show reruns and knitting a blanket. She could have been anyone's grandmother.

The idea of that woman being any kind of hell-raiser or having skeletons in her closet…I couldn't help it. I started laughing.

And then the dam broke. Tears welled up and spilt over my lashes as great racking sobs tore from my chest. Maria came and knelt down in front of me.

"That's right. Let it all out. Grieve if you need to. I'm right here, and we can stay here all day and night if you need to," she cooed. She wrapped her arms around me, stroking my hair soothingly. It reminded me of Esme and how she'd held me while I cried at my dad's funeral. Emmett hadn't allowed her or Alice to come when we buried our baby, telling them it was a private family affair only.

Oh, how I missed them. Would it ever be safe for me to contact them? Would they even want to see me, or would they blame me for Edward's death if what I suspected was actually true?

I didn't know how long I cried, but Maria held me as a mother would. It didn't matter that we'd only met the day before or that I was on the run from an abusive marriage. My problems had nothing to do with her or her family. She was warm and loving and sought to soothe the pain.

When there weren't any more tears to cry, I took a shuddering breath and sat back, wiping at my cheeks. I cringed at the large, wet stain on her shirt from my tears and drool. I opened my mouth to apologize for the mess I'd made, only to have her raise her eyebrow at me and give me a stern look.

"If you utter one word of apology to me, I'll have you know I'm going to be very offended and take it personally. I may not be your mother, but I _am_ a mom. I see a hurt, I try to fix it. If I can't fix it, I'll hold you and cry with you until the hurt goes away. Charlotte sent you here, so unless you have a somewhere else you'd rather be or someone else to go to who can keep you safe from that bastard of a husband, I don't want to hear another word about you leaving." She stood and held a hand out to me to pull me out of the chair. "Are we clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She smiled and nodded, pursing her lips. "Very good, but don't ma'am me either. It's just plain old Maria.

"Now." Her arm swept over to the bed where she'd set a stack of clothes. "I brought you some of Charlotte's clothes that she left here when she and Peter moved up north. The jeans are probably going to be a little long on you, but otherwise I think everything will fit all right until we can go into town later and buy you some other things."

"Thank you."

"No thanks needed. Since Jasper has a bug up his butt and is showing off that famous stubborn streak of his you can just settle in here if you like. Probably work out best anyhow since the contractors are supposed to show up next week to start painting Charlotte's old room and work on the new nursery. Gotta get ready for those grandbabies coming for the holidays." Her face lit up with anticipation of spending time with her grandchildren and squeezed my arm, offering encouragement and compassion. "Well, I'll leave you to shower if you care to and then come on downstairs and we'll start working on fattening you up some too."

She strode out, shutting the door behind her before I could even say thank you again, leaving me standing in the center of the room. Maria Whitlock was a force of nature. In just a few minutes she'd made me laugh, held me while I cried, swept away my discomfort and made me feel welcome in her home. I looked again at the painting of the boy and took a deep cleansing breath. He'd found his peace under that tree by the stream. It may or may not be a real place, but I'd found the beginning of my own peace right here in this room.


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Please forgive the long delay in updating. Real life sucked every spare moment out of me last year. I thought things would slow down after the wedding in August and moving our youngest daughter to college. It didn't. Everyone we knew had a child getting married as well. Between June and November we had a wedding shower and wedding every month. **_

_**Good news is that they're all behind me now and there were no grandbaby announcements over Christmas (I'm a little sad) which means my life is finally back to normal. The youngest went back to school yesterday so it's just me and hubby again. **_

_**This means I can finally focus on writing again! Those of you who also follow Creating a Mate should have an update next week. This one was just easier to write and get out to you first.**_

_**As always, thanks to MarchHare5 for sticking with me and sharing her beta skills with me. You're the best!**_

_**Disclaimer: SM owns all Twilight characters. I just own what I do to them.**_

Ch 12

Jasper

Pressing my hands against my lower back, I stretched, bending backward, and twisted my shoulders repeatedly in a vain attempt to crack my spine. A deep-bellied yawn escaped my lungs, and the sound vibrated within the confines of the barn walls, startling the horses.

"You'd make racket, too, if you were as bone weary as I am," I grumbled to my four-legged companions. DP snorted and flicked his tail in my direction, stomping his foot several times as though he were laughing at my expense.

The air had definitely turned colder. Temperatures at night dipped regularly into the thirties, making the room in the barn feel like the inside of a meat locker. The room wasn't designed for comfort or long term. It was designed for staying close to the animals for one or two nights at a time, tops. I'd moved into the cramped quarters over six weeks ago and didn't see that changing anytime soon.

Standing in the barn doorway, I looked over to the front porch of the house and saw the reason for my self-enforced misery.

Bella McCarthy.

She was swaying slightly on the porch swing, holding her cup of coffee tightly against her chest, letting the heat of her mug warm her. She stared off into the distance, lost inside her head again. I let my eyes rake over her appearance and felt again that damnable tightening low in my gut. It wasn't as if she were dressed in the height of fashion, not like when she arrived. No, she was dressed very simply, but she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She wore a faded pair of jeans and cast-off, worn out boots that had belonged to Charlotte, and over a long-sleeve, knit shirt she wore a too-large flannel shirt…mine.

Not that she was aware it was my shirt that she wore to stay warm, but in my deepest fantasies I liked to think maybe she had a clue. In the beginning, I kept my promise and stayed away from the house as much as possible, giving her a wide berth. I was up hours earlier than most people to take care of the never-ending work that needed to be done to keep the farm running smoothly. I never made it up to the house for lunch, and for dinner I'd started either eating sandwiches in the barn or going into town.

Evenings were harder. I'd always made time for my grandma, because who knew when the last of her mind would go. I wanted to get in all the memories I could while she still knew me. I spent evenings playing dominoes with her and Mom, laughing and listening to stories of her past. I used to wonder if her stories were real or just part of her vivid imagination until Mom showed me proof.

That proof is why we kept nosey reporters out of our business.

Shaking my head at those thoughts, I let my mind wander back to Bella. Now that she was here, those nights of playing dominoes were more about keeping my eyes on my on my tiles and not on the quiet woman across the table from me. At first I stayed away, but one slap on the ass from my tiny grandmother telling me to "get my boney ass to the table" put a stop to my leaving every time Bella came into the room.

The dark circles were gone from under her eyes, and the physical bruises were a thing of the past, but that same sad expression looked back at me every time I caught her eye. I wondered if it would ever go away.

I still avoided her as much as I could. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, and I saw the nervous tremble in her fingers and heard the hitch in her breath every time I came near.

I noticed.

I noticed everything about Bella. I noticed the way her cheeks turned a soft pink when she caught me staring at her, though I tried to be discreet. I noticed the soft tone of her voice whenever she answered the million questions my grandmother bombarded her with about her childhood—seeming to know not to bring up her husband or why she was here. I noticed the way her hair smelled of strawberries and made me think of spring. I noticed the way she pitched in to help my mother, trying not to be a burden in any way, though it was unnecessary. I noticed the true kindness and love she showed my sister when she and her family showed up two days ago.

I noticed everything.

As though she sensed my unwavering gaze, Bella turned her head toward me, and her eyes locked with mine. She offered me a timid smile and raised her hand as though to wave "hello." My sister came out on the porch, interrupting our moment, and Bella quickly ducked her head and turned away. She said something to Bella, to which she shook her head, then looked over to see me leaning against the barn door. Charlotte shook her head, disgust easy to read in her expression even from where I stood, for what I didn't know.

A hard slap on the back startled me out of my "Bella-gazing," and I turned to my brother-in-law, who'd snuck up on me. Damn snake; was just as quiet as one, too. "You got a problem, Ashton?"

He shook his head, chuckling. "No, but it seems like you do." He nodded toward the house and empty porch swing. He handed me a fat slice of banana bread, still warm from the oven and covered in melting butter, before taking another bite of his own.

I took a large bite, moaning as the flavor hit my tongue. It was different from what my mother normally made. I'd have to tell her to burn her old recipe and stick to this one. I finished my bread in two bites, brushing my fingers against my jeans. "God, that's good stuff. Mom needs to enter this recipe in the fair this spring. She'll take home the blue for sure."

Peter laughed, shaking his head. "Your mother didn't make that bread."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Are you telling me my sister finally learned how to cook something other than mac-n-cheese?"

"God, no! Don't get me wrong, I love Char, but there's a reason I pay my chef out of my own pocket above what the taxpayers allow. We'd starve or die of food-poisoning if the cooking was left up to your sister." He shuddered for effect.

"Well, I know my grandmother didn't make it. Charlotte got her cooking skills from her," I laughed.

Peter stared at me for a moment. "Charlotte's right. You really are that stupid."

My eyes narrowed, and I was ready for the fight he was obviously looking for. First he interrupted my favorite morning pastime of watching Bella drink her coffee on the porch swing, and then he called me stupid. "You lookin' to get your ass kicked, Ashton?"

He rolled his eyes at me and smirked. "Before you get your britches—that's the right Southern term, isn't it? Before you get your britches in a twist, stop and think. There is another woman in that kitchen."

I stared at him for a moment, then turned to the empty porch swing again. A slight smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "Well, I'll be damned."

"Probably," he chuckled, slapping me on the back again before walking away. "Your sister told me to come tell you 'to shit or get off the pot.' Oh, and FYI, she convinced Bella to a girls' night out at Duffy's. Have a nice day."

I tugged the brim of my hat low over my narrowed eyes, my fingers curled into a fist at my side, wanting to punch that smug bastard so hard. "Nice day, my ass. Damn Yankee," I grumbled, stalking away from the barn toward my truck.

Climbing inside the cab and slamming the door just a little harder than necessary, I put the truck in gear and pulled out of the driveway. I made it twenty feet before his words hit me.

Bella was going out.

To a bar.

Where there were guys looking to get laid.

Guys who wouldn't know that Bella was off-limits.

"Ah, hell, no!"

**End note: Next chapter will be interaction between Jasper & Bella. **

**Take care,**

**Mic**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Muse is still being difficult, but at least I'm writing. I'd said last chapter that this would have Jasper/Bella interaction. I lied. Bella needed to share where her head is right now. Promise they'll talk next time around. **_

_**I'm also working on the next chapter for CAM so hopefully I'll have that update ready soon as well.**_

_**As always, thanks to MarchHare5 for sticking with me and sharing her beta skills with me. You're the best!**_

_**Thank you to all my fans who've stuck with me for so long. I appreciate each and every one of you!**_

**Song inspiration: "I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all Twilight characters. I just own what I do to them.**

Bella

Ch 13

"Wow! It smells amazing in here."

I turned from pulling loaves of bread I'd made out of the oven to see Peter standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry, did I wake you? I tried to be quiet."

He shook his head, yawning, and entered the kitchen, going straight to the coffeemaker and pulling a mug from the cabinet above it.

"Our little princess woke me up with a wet diaper. I changed her and put her back down so Charlotte could sleep a little longer before they're all up and demanding breakfast. The smell of coffee and bread brought me downstairs, but don't apologize." He held the coffee pot up to me. "Do you need a refill?"

Nodding, I picked up my empty mug and brought it to him, thanking him when it was full again. We each added half-and-half to our mugs, and Peter leaned back against the counter sipping on his while I went back to tending my bread. Grabbing the hot pads again, I turned out the loaves of bread from their pans and put them beside the other loaves that were already cooling on the counter.

I opened the oven again, adjusting the placement of the banana bread still baking and reset the timer for another twenty minutes.

Peter pointed to the bread and pouted. "So is all that just to torture me, or will you take pity on my poor soul?"

I pulled a knife out of the nearby drawer, pointing it at the loaves on the counter. "What would you care for? I have zucchini-apple, pumpkin, and strawberry—although I haven't mixed the cream cheese spread for it yet—and the banana-nut should be done in a few more minutes."

He turned to pull a plate out of the cabinet and grinned. "Yes, please."

I laughed, taking the plate from him, and proceeded to cut a slice from each of the varieties on the counter, handing it back to him. He got butter from the refrigerator and also cut a small wedge of the plain cream cheese softening on the counter and sat at the table with his bounty. I cut a small slice of the zucchini-apple for myself and joined him, slathering it with butter before taking a bite.

He groaned, chewing on his own slice, closing his eyes in enjoyment. It made me smile, watching his unabashed expression of pure joy. He opened his eyes, narrowing them at me. "Don't laugh. Even my expensive chef in Chicago can't make bread like this. Please tell me there's enough for me to take a few home when we leave."

The smile on my face died at his mention of Chicago, but I nodded anyway. "I'll be sure to wrap up some of each for you and Charlotte to take back."

He sighed, wiping his fingers on a paper napkin before speaking again. "Want to share what has you up at this ungodly hour?"

Shrugging, I took a sip of my coffee. "Couldn't sleep."

I avoided looking him in the eyes directly. I didn't want to admit that I still didn't sleep very well at night. I often lay awake until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and finally slept from sheer exhaustion, only to startle awake a short time later due to nightmares.

At night, I relived Edward's death, only now I stood on that mountain watching him die. His family was there, screaming at me to do something while Edward cried out for me to save him. The way he died changed from time to time, but one thing remained constant. I did nothing but stand idly by and watch as Emmett killed Edward in front of me.

The guilt was tearing me apart.

Silence stretched while he finished off the slices of strawberry and zucchini bread. I finished my slice of bread and coffee. He stood, bringing the coffeepot and cream to the table, refilling both mugs again before sitting down.

"Bella, I can't begin to know the sorrow losing a child must be like, especially the way you have. Please know I'm going to do everything in my power to see that justice is served."

I acknowledged his words with a small nod. "Thank—"

"Don't thank me just yet," he interrupted. "It's not going to be easy. The McCartys have been in Chicago for more years than I can count. They're rich and have the ear of some very influential people. There have always been rumors and innuendo over the years, but since I decided to go into politics… Well, let's just say the rumors aren't exactly unjustified."

"What kind of rumors?"

Instead of answering, he asked, "How much do you know about the family business?"

"Emmett's father owns a security firm, and Emmett is supposed to inherit the business when his father retires," I answered. "What does that have to do with anything?"

He took another drink of his coffee and carefully set his mug on the table. "The rumor is the McCartys are part of the Chicago mob. Nothing has ever been proven, but you should know there's a file on your husband and his father along with other members of their family and a large number of their employees in the DA's office. Most of them have rap sheets, including your husband, though not for anything substantial."

My jaw dropped and I stared at him, wide-eyed with shock. "Are you saying Emmett is part of the Mafia? What, like in the movies or something?"

I shook my head in disbelief, leaning back against my chair. "Trust me, I know I married a monster, but are you seriously telling me I married into the mob? That can't be right. My dad was the Chief of Police in Forks. I would never knowingly marry a criminal!"

I stood quickly, pacing the floor, my life with Emmett coming at me in flashes, like a train wreck I had no control over. Cryptic phone conversations. The demeanor of men he spent time with or called friends. Talk about business over the dinner table with his father. Even our honeymoon—the man he'd had take me around Italy. No wonder he'd been a lousy tour guide. The complete lack of concern that the police would suspect abuse when he put me in the hospital and killed my baby.

I stopped and turned back to Peter, who was still sitting watching me.

"I—" I slowly shook my head, unable to deny the truth any longer.

"Bella, it's actually worse than that, if what the DA is trying to prove is true."

A sharp bark of hysterical laughter filled the room, throwing my hands up in the air in defeat.

"Worse? What could possibly be worse than what you're telling me right now? All this time my biggest regret has been I had an abusive husband who beat me and killed our daughter. Now I find out he's also a real criminal in every sense of the word. Then if that isn't enough, you tell me it's worse than that! How could anything be worse?"

Tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. I hated seeing the sympathy on Peter's face. My whole life was falling apart around me—had been for over a year, more if I went back to Edward's death. When would it be enough?

As far as I was concerned, I'd hit rock bottom.

There wasn't anywhere lower I could fall.

I was wrong.

He sighed and gestured to my chair. "Perhaps you should sit down for this."

He waited until I was seated again. "I shared what you told me about Edward Cullen and what you suspect along with the evidence you found in Emmett's safe with the DA. Ben Cheney is the DA and also a friend of mine from college, so I trust him. Under the circumstances he was willing to share. The McCarty family is the muscle for the Chicago mob. They have their own piece of the pie, but they're also who anyone in the mob turns to when pressure is needed or someone just needs to disappear. Again, though, nothing has ever been proven."

"So what you're saying is I not only married an abuser, but that my husband and his whole family are a bunch of murderers, too."

He grimaced. "It looks that way. Ben said they got a tip a couple of years ago that your husband put out a hit on a cop in another state."

He watched me carefully as he continued. "The hit didn't make sense with what the DA's office knew. The cop the hit was on had no ties to anything related to their business, legitimate or not. In fact, the only remote tie he had was personal. The DA's office couldn't figure out the angle or why the McCartys would feel threatened enough to contract the hit, but they put out the call to warn the department just the same."

He paused, watching me. "Bella, that call was to warn your father that McCarty put out a contract on him, but it came too late. I'm sorry."

I stared at him in horror as his words slammed into me, shaking my head in denial.

"No," I whispered, anguish dragging the word out of me.

"I'm sorry, but it's true. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough evidence to implicate Emmett."

"What about the tip they got? What happened to the person who warned them?"

He looked uncomfortable and toyed with his coffee mug before answering. "They lost their informant. He disappeared before the ink even dried on the warrant for Emmett's arrest."

He waited while I processed what he said. I didn't think my pain could get any worse with everything that had happened to me because of Emmett, but I was wrong. Ripping my flesh from my bones couldn't hurt more than I did at that moment as I put the pieces together.

"Emmett had my dad killed because of me, didn't he?" I whispered, afraid to say those words too loudly in the quiet room.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but it looks that way."

"Why?" I sobbed. "He never did anything to Emmett or his family. Dad only met Emmett the one time I took him home with me."

My hands covered my mouth as I thought about the last time I'd seen my father alive. How much he'd disliked Emmett from the start. I dropped my hands to the table, fisting them so tightly my nails bit into my palms.

"Dad was smart. That's why he was chief. He always said he could smell 'bad' a mile away. He didn't trust Emmett. He knew he was bad news, but I didn't see it. Emmett killed my father to keep him from warning me."

"That's the only explanation that anyone can come up with. Emmett has pretty much eliminated anyone who possibly stood in the way of his goal of making you his wife. Your boyfriend Edward, who you said thought of Emmett as a friend, and your father. From what you've told me, he also threatened harm to the rest of the Cullens if you had any contact with them."

"It's going to take more than a simple divorce to get Emmett out of my life, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry."

I nodded and stood when the timer went off on the stove. We heard the impatient cries of their babies coming from upstairs. Peter stood, offering me an awkward hug, and then left me alone in the kitchen with another apology and a reassurance that the DA would do everything in his power to bring Emmett to justice. I had no response and didn't feel as secure in that promise.

I took care of the banana bread, refilled my mug and wandered out to the front porch swing to grieve all over again for the loss of everyone I'd loved. The air was crisp, and the chill bit at my skin. Wrapping the overlarge flannel shirt I'd found in the back of the closet in the bedroom I was using around me like a blanket and hugging my mug for its warmth helped only a little, but then it could have been a hundred degrees and I'd still feel chilled with everything Peter had told me.

I'd lived with Emmett, been married to him and still didn't know he was anything other than the worst form of abuser. He killed our baby and beat and raped me repeatedly, yet I never imagined he was other than what I saw firsthand until I'd found Edward's grandmother's ring in the safe in his office. I would have never suspected he was responsible for my father's death either if Peter hadn't told me.

Where did that leave me now?

Would I get to start my life over one day?

Movement near the barn halted my self-flagellating thoughts, and I turned to see Jasper standing near the wide open doorway to the barn. He stood silently and seemed to be watching me in return. He didn't turn away, so maybe he wasn't really looking at me. Though in a small, dark corner of my mind—a place I didn't deserve to harbor wants or wishes—I wished he would look at me.

See me.

See something other than the charity case his family took in, because despite everything going on in my life I still saw him.

Tall, broad shoulders and strong arms from years of hard work. Faded jeans and scuffed cowboy boots. T-shirts, work shirts…no shirts. I caught a glimpse of the muscles hidden under those shirts in my first week here when he came out of the bathroom downstairs. It was late, and I was coming down the stairs to get something to drink. I hid on the stairs, not wanting him to think I was spying on him, though standing hidden in the shadows, that's exactly what I did.

His hair had still been damp and tousled from his shower. He was dressed in only a clean pair of jeans he hadn't bothered to button. He puttered around the kitchen getting a drink and warming a plate of food in the microwave. I was surprised to see he sported a couple of tattoos. A military insignia was on his chest and a barbed wire band, broken by an insignia of some sort, wrapped around his right bicep.

Only when he sat at the table to eat his meal did I quietly sneak back up the stairs. I wished I'd had the nerve to talk to him that night. Perhaps things wouldn't still be so awkward between us now.

He didn't have that look of pity in his eyes like everyone else did, but I still wanted him to see me as someone more than the woman he hated. Our initial meeting was so bad as to leave a lasting bad taste in his mouth where I was concerned, and I had no clue how to overcome it or make up for it.

It didn't help that I'd taken over his bedroom, either—a fact I learned when I opened the closet to put away the extra clothes his mother had given me to wear and encountered men's shirts, jeans and several pairs of boots inside. I'd tried to move out of his room, only to have Maria inform me there wasn't another room available right then because of painting going on in Charlotte's old room and the guest room in preparation for their visit. She's assured me Jasper was the one who insisted that I stay where I was, though knowing his feelings for me, I thought she was just trying to make me feel like less of an intrusion into their lives than that those were Jasper's true feelings on the matter.

Lord knows I've tried to apologize, to show him I'm not the bitch he thinks I am, but how did I prove it if he wouldn't give me the chance? At first, I never saw him. Then if I entered a room, he would leave. Guilt that I was keeping him from his family prompted me in a race to leave the room first so he could spend his evenings with his family. I finally decided actions would have to speak for me since he wasn't going to give me the opportunity to speak to him.

I threw myself into helping Maria around the house and in her garden. I offered to help with meals and had taken over breakfast and lunch to give her a break. It didn't do any good, though, because Jasper never came to the house other than an occasional dinner, which his mom handled. The last couple of weeks he stayed after dinner to play dominoes with Maria and his grandmother. They'd been teaching me to play a game called Forty-two, but I wasn't very good and still couldn't figure out how to bet. I couldn't very well talk to him with his mother and grandmother listening, but at least for those few hours we were in the same room together.

There was something about Jasper Whitlock, something in his expression when I looked across the table of dominoes and caught his eye. My skin tingled like static electricity any time he was close or brushed by me. I could barely admit it to myself, but he reminded me of my father and of Edward.

That tingling feeling made me want to know him.

To know if he was everything I saw.

Because I saw a lot.

I saw his gentle indulgence in his interactions with his grandmother. I saw the love and respect he gave his mother. I saw the affectionate teasing he bestowed on Charlotte and the delight he took in his niece and nephews.

I saw the man who cared for his home with fierce pride and determination. He worked harder than anyone around, and it showed in the beauty around me. He was always up and working when I came out onto the porch in the early morning hours.

I'd found solace in the stillness of the countryside that helped me face the hard truths about my life and marriage. In the quiet, where my conscience was my only judge, I could face my shortcomings. I knew logically I wasn't to blame for the abuse I'd suffered at my husband's hand. I did nothing to cause my baby's death.

That was all on Emmett.

However, I was culpable in the path my life took that put me in that place. I'd let my grief over losing Edward cloud my judgment and accepted the easy way out. It was easier to let Emmett steamroll over me and lead me where he wanted than to face a future without Edward.

Edward and I had our future planned even down to our children's names whether we had boys or girls and the design of the home we'd build to raise our children in. I hadn't known how to have a future that Edward wasn't in, so I let Emmett push me into a future that seemed the same on the surface but was anything but.

I could see now the person I became in Chicago wasn't really me at all. I was to blame for letting my fear of the unknown put me there instead of standing up for myself long before I became Isabella McCarty.

Here in the quiet serenity of the Whitlock's home I was finding myself again. I had no way of knowing how I was supposed to go forward, or what it would take to even get Emmett to agree to a divorce, but I wanted the opportunity for a "do over."

I wanted to be the person my dad had raised me to be, the person Edward fell in love with.

I wanted to be Isabella Swan again and whatever that entailed.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: To all my readers who've stuck with me. Please know I appreciate every single one of you. **

**Real life is out of my control right now. My mom was diagnosed with Follicular Lymphoma back in April and has been in and out of the hospital for different procedures while the oncologist comes up with a game plan to attack this disease. For now (at least until her next appointment in Oct) we're on a "watch and see." I don't get it, but I've heard from others that this is common with cancer.**

**On top of this it looks like my own health is coming into question now. For me, I don't have the time or energy to deal with anything else right now, and I don't think it will be anything too horrible. **

**Taking care of everyone and working full-time is kicking my ass big time, so I hope you can understand and continue to be patient for updates. **

**Thanks always to the wonderfully talented MarchHare5 for cleaning up the mess I make of each chapter. Thanks also to Roxymar for prereading.**

**Disclaimer: SM will forever own Twilight and we'll forever be grateful for the characters she gave us to play with.**

**Song inspiration: "I'd Love To Be Your Last" by Clay Walker**

**Ch 14**

The screen door slammed, jarring me out of my thoughts and tearing my eyes from Jasper.

"Oh, my god, Bella the kitchen smells like heaven on earth," Charlotte exclaimed. "I wish I had your talent."

"Good morning," I smiled in return. "I could give you the recipe if you like."

She shook her head and laughed, leaning against the porch rail and taking a drink of her coffee. "No, thanks. I know my limitations, and for the health of my husband and children I keep my attempts in the kitchen to pushing the buttons on a microwave."

I looked beyond her to see Peter leaning against the barn, handing something to Jasper. I realized he'd given him some of my homemade bread, and I watched Jasper take a bite. Jasper's knees bent, and his head tilted back, a look of pleasure crossing his face before he finished it off with the next bite. I swear I could almost hear a groan of pleasure coming from him across the yard.

I lowered my head quickly to hide my smile from Charlotte.

"I saw that!"

I snapped my head up quickly, my cheeks heating in embarrassment at being caught ogling her brother.

"What? I'm glad Peter likes my bread." My excuse sounded lame even to my ears.

She wagged her finger at me, laughing. "You can deny it all you want, but you can't bullshit me. That smile had nothing to do with my husband and everything to do with my brother. Your blush gave you away. You like Jasper."

I blustered, trying to deflect her accusation. "I don't know what you're talking about. My cheeks are red from the cold. I don't feel anything for Jasper, and besides, I'm married and… and…"

I swallowed the disappointment rising in my throat and finished on a small whisper. "He hates me."

She sighed, sympathy filling her eyes. "Oh, Bella, what you had wasn't a marriage; it was a living nightmare. Emmett isn't a husband. He's a monster, and you were his victim. Peter is doing everything he can to help free you of that nightmare."

"I know, and I appreciate everything you and your family are doing for me. I'll never be able to repay you, or for that matter, your mom, for letting me stay here. I don't know what I would have done without your friendship."

She crossed the porch and sat beside me on the swing, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and taking my hand in hers. "There's nothing to repay. You're my friend, and that's what friends do."

I squeezed her hand in return. "Thank you. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me."

I wiped the tears threatening to fall and sighed. "I forgot what it was like to have a friend's shoulder to lean on. I used to have that with Alice, but Emmett drove a wedge between us, first by separating us and now, knowing he killed Edward…"

I choked on the lump in my throat. "Alice and her parents aren't ever going to be able to forgive me."

Charlotte squeezed my hand again and hugged me tighter. "Bella, they won't blame you. They know you loved Edward and couldn't have known what Emmett was really like. You'll see. When it's safe to talk to them again, they'll be there for you, and you'll all share the grief and memories you have of Edward. I'm just sorry I never got to meet him. From what you told me he sounds like he was a wonderful man."

I smiled, thinking of Edward. "He was. He was the very best. He had so much love and compassion inside of him. He would have been a fantastic doctor."

She smiled in response, adding gently, "And you loved him with all your heart."

"Yes, I did. Edward was everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend, and I know I would have loved him until the day I died."

"I'm sorry you lost your Edward, but don't shut out the possibility of having that kind of love again." She turned to look over at Peter and Jasper talking by the barn. "You were barely twenty years old when you lost him, and the last few years you've been living a nightmare. I'm not saying you should just jump back in the saddle, but you're still alive and have so much love to give to whoever is lucky enough to fill the void left behind by Edward's death."

I opened my mouth to argue, but she shook her head, cutting me off. "I'll drop it, but you should know; Jasper doesn't hate you."

"But—"

"Bella, I know my brother, so trust me when I say he doesn't hate you. Far from it," she winked. "My brother is stubborn and hardheaded to a fault. He can be a major pain in my ass, and sometimes I want to just take a two-by-four and smack him upside the head to knock some sense into him, but he's also the kind of man any woman would be lucky to have in her life. He's an honorable man and has a heart as big as the outdoors. He'd love the girl he gave his heart to with everything in him, and she'd never have to fear giving her heart into his safekeeping. He'd protect it and cherish it, knowing it was a gift."

Tears stung my eyes, and a lump formed in my throat as I thought about her words. I'd known only three men in my life that fit that description; my dad, Edward, and his dad, Carlisle. My mom may have been a total flake, but I knew my dad had still loved her until the day he died. She'd been the one not to cherish the gift of his heart, not the other way around.

With Edward, I knew I would have gotten that kind of love that would have lasted a lifetime and beyond.

Then I thought about Emmett and the nightmare of my reality. I'd known when I married him I didn't love him the way I'd loved Edward, but I had loved him. Or at least I loved the man I'd thought he was. Emmett, on the other hand, obviously hadn't loved me. I doubted he even had it in him to love another person. No one capable of loving another human being could kill their unborn baby without remorse.

I took a deep shuddering breath and wiped away the moisture that clung to the corner of my eyes as I thought about my precious Lindsey. I'd gotten to name my baby, but I never got to hold her, and that pain still burned. My empty arms still ached.

Emmett had taken that away from me, and I hoped there was a special place in hell waiting for him for that and for the part he'd played in Edward's death. Somehow I needed to contact Edward's family and give them back the ring I would never get to wear.

Charlotte nudged me, squeezing. "You okay?"

I nodded and gave her a reassuring smile. "Yeah, just wishing for things I'll never have."

"You'll have them. I know you will. You've been through a lot, but you're a strong woman, and you'll get past this and come out even stronger and better on the other side. I may not have known your Edward, but from what you've shared with me this week about him, I'm sure he would have loved you the right way."

"Yeah, he would have," I agreed, wistfully. "Carlisle, his dad, set a great example."

"You still deserve that kind of love, Bella. Don't give up on it."

She stood, pulling me up from the swing with her. "Now come inside, and let's figure out what we're going to wear tonight. I love Peter and my babies, but I really need a girls' night out to kick back and have a little fun."

I drew designs into the condensation on the side of my beer bottle and tried not to laugh at Charlotte. She was the first to admit she couldn't carry a tune to save her life, and god knows she wasn't being modest. The girl really could not sing.

She'd twisted my arm and flat-out bullied me into going along with her tonight. One of Charlotte's friends had started a band back in high school, and they were playing tonight. They were on the rise to success after playing opening act for several popular country singers, and listening to them tonight I agreed with Charlotte that other bands would be opening for them before much longer.

Their tour had an unexpected break since the lead singer of the band they were opening for was facing legal troubles that landed him in jail. They were taking advantage of the break and visiting family over the holiday. Charlotte explained that Duffy, the owner of the bar, had been one of their biggest supporters back in their early days, giving them a place to play and through a friend-of-a-friend connection got them an introduction with someone in the country music industry that ended up offering them a contract. As a thank-you, anytime they were in town they played for free.

The band was on break, so people were singing karaoke. Charlotte was on stage, singing with a couple of her friends we'd run into, much to the horror of fellow patrons and the two bodyguards who'd accompanied us tonight. Charlotte didn't care; she was home and with friends. She'd told me that Peter understood her need to cut loose from the constraints his being in politics put on their life in Chicago, but here she could just be herself.

As the song came to an end, I applauded and laughed at Charlotte taking her bow as everyone cheered the end of her singing. She laughed right along with the rest of the crowd and blew air kisses to the worst of the hecklers before leaving the stage. After hugging her friends she came back to our small table, dropping into her seat and grinning widely.

"Gah, I needed that!" she laughed.

I shook my head. "What? To destroy everyone's hearing? You weren't joking when you said you couldn't sing."

She shrugged and took a long pull on her beer then set it back on the table with a thump.

"I warned you. You should have covered your ears if you couldn't handle it. Those who know better always do. Peter takes the babies and hides in his office when I start singing at home. He keeps praying they'll inherit their Uncle Jasper's musical ability instead of mine. Jasper can sing like you wouldn't believe, and he plays the guitar. He inherited that from our grandmother. She used to be a lounge singer back in her day."

Charlotte leaned across the table towards me and winked conspiratorially. "Peter would never admit it to Jasper, but I know for a fact if they both pulled their heads out of their asses, they'd be best friends. They're just too much alike."

She started ticking off their characteristics on her fingers. "They're loyal, proud, honorable—"

"What's wrong with that?" I asked, confused that she would see those as character flaws. "Isn't that what everyone hopes to find in a husband or politician?

Sitting back in her chair again, she shrugged. "Sure they do. Those are all very admirable qualities. It's why I fell in love with Peter right away. He has all the qualities I wanted in a man."

She continued counting off fingers, and I began to see her point. "He's also stubborn, pigheaded, and unwilling to bend, just like my brother. That's their biggest problem. Peter is a Yankee, always going to be a Yankee, and he's a politician to boot. Jasper is a proud, Southern born and bred male, just like his ancestors, and he was also a soldier for eight years."

"Okay," I offered. I didn't get the whole Southern versus Northern philosophy Charlotte lived by and had joked about during the time I'd known her. It was evidently a big deal to people from the South.

"Neither one is willing to stick their hand out in friendship first. They dislike each other on principle, but I know different. My brother is happy that I'm married to a good man who will always take care of me and our children, even with the demands of his job. And Peter admires and respects what Jasper has done serving our country and that he loves his bratty little sister enough to still hate her husband for stealing her away."

"That makes absolutely no sense," I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Sure it does. You just have to twist your brain into a pretzel and cross your eyes to see it."

We both burst out laughing, causing the men sitting around the table next to us to turn and look. They pushed back their chairs and stood, swaggering over to us and pulling out the empty chairs at our table.

"Mind if we have a seat?" the first one asked. He was tall with coal black hair cut close to his head abd brown eyes, and he was built like a bull. His neck was probably bigger than my thigh, and I wondered if he had to have his shirts custom-made to fit. He had a scar that ran down the side of his face, which gave him a mean look like he ate puppies and kittens for breakfast.

His friend was just as wide, but was even taller by at least a couple of inches, and if I had to guess his breakfast of choice it would be anything stupid enough to get in his way. His black hair was longer, brushing the collar of his Western shirt, and his dark, piercing eyes glared down at Charlotte.

Charlotte huffed, nonplussed by the magnitude of aggression emanating from the "twin mountains" bearing down on us.

"Yes, we do mind. This is a girls-only table, so unless you've lost your itty-bitty dicks recently, move along. Now shoo!" She shooed them away with her hands, though they both ignored her and sat down anyway.

"Damn, Char, why you always gotta be such a bitch?" Mountain number two snarled.

"Yo! Four beers!" he barked out at a passing waitress. The waitress waved her hand in the air in acknowledgement and kept heading to the bar.

"You have the nerve to ask that?" Charlotte shrieked.

"That was twenty years ago. Presidents have come and gone. The Cold War has ended. It's time to get over it and grow the fuck up already. I'll have you know blood ran out of my ears having to listen to you caterwaul up there tonight. I want to know where that Yankee husband of yours is and why he isn't here suffering with the rest of us."

I glanced at Charlotte uncertainly and looked to the nearby table for her bodyguards. I didn't understand why they didn't jump up to defend her.

"Because he understands the meaning of 'girls only,' unlike you, you uneducated Neanderthal," she snapped.

My eyes darted back and forth between Charlotte and the aforementioned Neanderthal, swallowing nervously as Charlotte leaned closer to him and took a swing, punching him in the arm for all she was worth. I fully expected bloodshed in the next two seconds, but was startled by the sudden burst of laughter coming out of his mouth.

"You still hit like a girl," he barked, grabbing her wrist and reshaping her fist. "I taught you better than that. Quit tucking your thumb into your hand. You're only going to hurt yourself, and then Jaz and Peter will both try to kick my ass."

A large hand was thrust in front of me, pulling my astonished gaze from the combatants across the table and into the dark gaze of his scarred friend.

"Don't mind them. They've always been like this. I'm Jake, by the way, since no one else thought to introduce me!" he yelled, looking over at Charlotte.

Charlotte stuck her pinky finger in the air at him. Jake's arm slid across the back of my chair as he leaned toward me. "In case you're still learning Charlotte-speak, that's code for _'fuck you.'_ It wouldn't be proper for the mayor of Chicago's wife to be seen flipping the bird at someone, now would it?"

"Um, I guess not," I agreed, still confused by the whole encounter.

His friend turned toward me, sticking out his hand to introduce himself, only to have Charlotte put her hand in his face, stopping him.

"I'll handle the introductions, if you please. Bella, this asshole sitting beside me is my cousin, Sam, though I'm still digging for the truth—that aliens left him on Aunt Sue and Uncle Harry's doorstep, and that one," she stabbed a finger at Jake, "is his side-kick, Jacob, not related in any way, but just as much of an ass."

Sam shook his head at her introduction, obviously not liking it. "I swear, you pull one little prank, and she won't let it go."

"All my Barbies were bald because of you!" she shrieked, punching Sam in the arm again.

Sam and Jacob both burst out laughing.

"Yeah, and my dad made me use the money I was saving for a new saddle to pay to replace them—and that's _after_ he tanned my hide. I think we're even."

"Never," she hissed, glaring at him with narrowed eyes.

Sam yanked her to him, engulfing her in his big arms. "I've missed you, squirt. Mom and Dad were heading out to your place earlier to see those babies of yours. I still can't believe you're a mom now."

Charlotte hugged him just as tightly, and I swear her eyes were bright and shining with tears. It was as though the last five minutes never happened. "I've missed you, too. I heard about Leah. I'm so sorry."

"Eh, better she left me now than later, right?" he shrugged.

"Just know if I ever see her skinny ass, I will remember how to throw a punch and mean it," she promised.

"Sam's not too cut up about it anymore," Jacob announced, wiggling his eyebrows and grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Not since her cousin Emily moved to town."

Charlotte's eyes were wide. "Really? Do tell."

If it were possible I would swear Sam actually blushed. "You'll probably find the invitation in the mail when you get back to Chicago, but I hope you can make it back for the wedding the weekend before Christmas."

"That's pretty fast. Leah just ran out on you, what, eight months ago? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." His wide grin said it all. I didn't know him, and even I could see how much he loved his Emily. "Leah did me a huge favor by leaving me to follow that wannabe hack. One look at Emily and I was a goner."

He paused, ducking his head slightly, though the grin never left his face. He seemed hesitant, like he was afraid of Charlotte's reaction to his news. "Besides, if we wait much longer, her dress won't fit at the wedding."

Charlotte squealed, clapping her hands in delight. "I'm going to be an aunt!"

Jacob spit out his beer, laughing. "You've got your family tree all fucked up, Char. You're going to be a second cousin, not an aunt, unless you know something the rest of us don't."

Charlotte picked up her crumpled napkin and threw it at Jacob. "Oh, shut up. Sam doesn't have any sisters, and everyone knows his brother only dates skanks, so I'm within my rights to claim the title."

She turned back to Sam, bouncing in her seat. "You're bringing her for Thanksgiving so I can meet her right? Oh, and I want to help plan the baby shower when it's time."

It was all suddenly too much for me, and I stood quickly, excusing myself from the table. "I'm going to just—"

I rushed from the table, not having a direction in mind, and stumbled over someone pushing out their chair into my path. I would have fallen if it weren't for a pair of strong arms catching me from behind.

"Hey, you okay?"

I closed my eyes momentarily to gain control of my bubbling emotions. I was two seconds away from losing it. Listening to Charlotte being excited for her cousin's baby and wanting so much to be a part of its life reminded me of Alice and her excitement over being a part of my baby's life, even if it weren't Edward's baby.

I was turned around and a gentle hand lifted my chin. I opened my eyes to see concern in Jasper's expression. I hadn't even known he was here. I took a moment to take him in. He was dressed casually, as he always was, though it was obvious he'd turned it up a notch. Dark jeans, boots, pressed Western shirt and a dark cowboy hat—the staples of his wardrobe from what I'd seen. Usually his clothes were dusty from hard work or worn because they were comfortable. He didn't care about designer labels, power suits, or making an impression. Jasper didn't need any of those things. His deep blue eyes and strong jaw did that all on their own.

"I'm fine," I croaked, clearing my throat. "I'm fine, I just needed—" I searched my brain for an excuse for running from the table, embarrassed at once again making a bad impression with him, "—a drink."

Jasper turned to look back at our table, seeing the waitress just setting down four beers. Charlotte was watching me, remorse clear in her face. _"I'm so sorry,"_ she mouthed.

I shook my head, letting her off the hook. It wasn't her fault that Sam's announcement hit too close to home and reminded me of what I'd lost.

"I just needed a minute." I lifted my chin, not wanting to appear needy in front of him. My skin was tingling where his hands still rested on my waist.

"You can go back and enjoy yourself. I'm just going to—" I gestured toward the bathrooms and took a step back, only to be stopped when his hands tightened on my waist again. He dropped his hands immediately at my shocked expression, and I wished I could ask him to put them back. It had felt nice to be held, even if only for a moment, by someone who didn't want to hurt me.

"Hey, if you're just going to hide out in the bathroom, I should warn you there's always a line, and it'll be too crowded to have any space to take a breather."

I opened my mouth to speak, and he raised an eyebrow.

"And, yeah, we may just be small town, but it's still just asking for trouble for you to stand around outside of a bar in the dark," he finished, cutting off my next excuse.

Sighing, I raised my hands in defeat. "Fine, what would you suggest?"

He tugged on his hat, clearing his throat nervously, and gestured to the dance floor. The band was back on stage, and people were heading to the floor with the beginning strains of a slow song. "Would you care to dance?"

Gazing up into his eyes, it was as though my brain took over, allowing my body to respond to what my voice couldn't say. As I placed my hand into his, the gentle squeeze around mine and his reassuring smile told me that Jasper was everything I thought him to be.

**Jasper**

I'd spent the evening nursing my beer while watching over Bella from a distance. Her back was to me, and I doubted she even knew I was here. Charlotte had seen me as soon as I hit the nearby table. Her smirk let me know she suspected my motivation for being here tonight had nothing to do with listening to the band, especially since I had my back to the stage. Over the course of the evening several friends had joined me at various times to ask about the hottie sitting with Charlotte and if I could put in a good word for them.

Not likely.

I was quick to throw them off the scent, letting them know she and Charlotte were having a girls-only night, and only on pain of death would anyone who knew Charlotte be stupid enough to irritate my sister.

I may have also embellished the facts a little and left them with the impression that Bella was mine and to back the fuck off. I felt a little bit guilty for that, but it accomplished what I needed, keeping the wolves at bay. At least until Sam and his friend Jacob joined them at their table.

My eyes narrowed, seeing Jacob put his arm around the back of her chair and lean in, not so subtly staking his claim for everyone to see. I stood, ready to tear him apart for whatever he'd said that upset Bella enough to make her leave the table. I moved to intercept her, seeing her eyes swimming with tears, only to have her trip when the guy at the table between us stood, pushing his chair back and into her path.

I caught her around the waist, keeping her from falling. I pushed down the feeling it gave me to have Bella in my arms for the first time, more concerned with fixing whatever was wrong.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked.

I turned her in my arms, unwilling to release her unless she wanted me to. Her eyes reminded me of the richest dark chocolate. Gazing into her eyes, I knew, given the opportunity, I could get lost in them for days, but now they were filled with so much pain it made my heart ache with the need to fix whatever was broken.

She offered several excuses to hide her upset, but I had become somewhat of an expert at reading Bella's emotions since she'd moved in. She always tried to hide her pain, keeping a stiff chin whenever I was around.

She finally put her hands up in defeat, and remembering Peter's words from this morning, I decided to follow his advice—well, it was actually my sister's advice relayed by her husband. The band was back on stage, and the bar filled with music to the opening words of a country love song.

It was now or never.

"Would you care to dance?"

Her eyes searched mine, and I held her gaze, letting her see into my soul. Her small hand slid into mine, and the ache in my chest eased just a bit. I guided her past the tables and onto the floor, turning her toward me and settling my other hand on her hip, still holding her hand.

"I'll apologize now if I step on your toes or make you look bad. It's been a long time since I've two-stepped. Maybe this isn't such a good idea," she grimaced and began to pull away. "Emmett—"

Still holding her hand, I placed a finger to her soft lips, shushing her. Her eyes widened at my forward behavior, but she let me bring us closer together.

"Doesn't matter to me if you step on my toes once or a hundred times. I asked you to dance, and that's what we're going to do. If you're concerned about my toes you're more than welcome to stand on top of my boots, and I'll do the dancin' for us both."

She held my gaze, blushing prettily, as I brought her hand to my chest and held it close to my heart. The rest of the bar fell away until there was only the two of us left in the world as we swayed around the floor. I barely heard the music change, so lost in the bubble Bella and I had created.

The third time the music changed, I smiled, wondering if God wasn't lookin' down and helping me find a way to say what was in my heart. I leaned in close, tilting my head down so the brim of my Stetson barely brushed the top of Bella's hair, wanting her to hear the words from me. The lyrics spoke of my intentions better than I could ever say on my own.

Bella's gaze widened slightly as I started to sing along. Her eyes turned bright and glassy, and I nodded slightly, letting her know she hadn't misunderstood. Her hand on my shoulder shifted ever so slightly closer to my neck, making me smile as I felt a single finger brush against my nape.

"_If I had it my way_

_This would be the first time that you made love_

_I'd be the first man that your hands touched_

_But we've both done our share of livin'_

_Takin' chances we've been given_

_I've never been big on lookin' back_

_I don't care if I'm your first love_

_But I'd love to be your last." _


End file.
